


Tradition and the Illusion

by RerumTechnologies



Series: Traditions [1]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Attempted Murder, Attempted Seduction, F/M, Flashbacks, Fujioka Haruhi is a Princess, Harems, Kidnapping, M/M, Matriarchal society, Murder, Politics, Princes & Princesses, The Host Club is her harem, The host club are princes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RerumTechnologies/pseuds/RerumTechnologies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A music room. The words loomed her head like a warning. She put an ear to the opulent door. No music, no talking, everything was quiet. Wonderful! It was silent and she might even get her view. Maybe this will work out… A peaceful place to study could go a long way.<br/>Clutching her notebooks and texts under one arm Haruhi grasped the gold handle, turned and pushed into a nightmare. Five boys were artfully placed around a sixth in a throne like chair, posing for whatever newcomer happened to be entering.<br/>Not only were they devastatingly attractive, but they were dreadfully familiar.<br/>“Welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>Fujioka Haruhi is actually Chie Yasuko the Satoan Princess who is living as a commoner and attending Ouran Elite Private Academy. Guess who she meets on her first day? The Ouran Host Club who, as it happens, are also her future harem.<br/>Things couldn`t possibly get worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tradition and the Illusion

**Author's Note:**

> BTW I had a bout of active alziness while writing the next chapter and decided to share Haruhi's [ birthday dress](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81neVavY3WL._UL1500_.jpg) with you guys!

Sato is an island nation that is more powerful than any other in the East seas. She is a matriarchal nation, whose Queens are renowned for their competency and strategizing wisdom. Her education system is particularly well-known. Many nations wish to align with her.

It is tradition in the Island of Sato for the Crowned Princess, the next in line, to live as a middle class citizen from age six until they turn eighteen. They may or may not continue their education through university. Almost every Queen in the Chie line – the current royal line – has continued their education.

Every Queen of Sato has a harem. It is tradition for five men of royal blood to be presented to the Crowned Princess before she becomes Sovereign. These men become her harem and only one will become her First Husband. These men are presented by the allied countries Daisuke, Hisen, Takeru, Takum, and Tetsuya on the princess’s fifteenth birthday in order to allow a decision to be made on the princess’s eighteenth birthday.

Within the Queen’s harem is the First Husband. He is not required to be the first married nor the first to father. The First Husband is chosen by the Queen on her eighteenth birthday. The First Husband takes on the name of the Queen. The First Husband’s previous name and life is erased from family and national history. The first born girl of the First Husband is the Crowned Princess upon their birth. Until the crowning ceremony is completed at eighteen or after the Queen’s death – whichever event occurs last – the Princess has limited official power.

It is a tradition known only to the Queens, First Husbands and Crowned Princesses of Sato that each Crowned Princess is given two names. The father’s name and the mother’s. The mother’s name is known by the world and used in everyday court life. The father’s name is personal and only used at the Crowned Princess’s discretion. It is a privilege and an honor to know both the mothers and fathers name of the Crowned Princess. This privilege has rarely been given outside the Royal Family.

In the event of the Queen’s death, the First Husband takes control of Sato as Reigning Monarch. The King reigns in the place of the fallen Queen until the Crowned Princess completes the crowning ceremony. The Princess completes her education according to tradition and can choose to hold her crowning ceremony until she sees fit.

The 43rd Queen Chie Kotoko of Sato gave birth to her Crowned Princess at age twenty-six. She named her Chie Yasuko. The First Husband Chie Ryouji named her Fujioka Haruhi.

The Queen was assassinated at thirty-one, with her Crowned Princess witnessing the murder.

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall**

There was not one single room empty. But really empty didn’t even have to be a factor, quiet was all she needed, just some peace and quiet to finally study. Originally she had wanted a view of the gardens or the fountain in front of the prestigious high school. Who would have thought that all four of the libraries, all six of the sitting rooms, and the five restrooms would be full of tittering students. The bathrooms for God’s sake!

Fujioka Haruhi climbed the wide curved staircase, trailing one hand along the banister to revel in the feel of smooth mahogany. It had been a while since she had lived around such luxury. More than a while, she thought. Six years? Eight? Surely she hadn’t been living away from home that long? Of course those eight years had been an integral part of her life. Her mother had told her it would be.

 _“I remember my first day in school little Haruhi. I remember I was so excited. I looked at all the beauty of it and I felt sad. No one there had any idea what kind of world they lived in._   _Will you promise to understand just how much you have?” Her mother hugged her close, the smell of her skin curling around little Haruhi’s body. “It’s such an important part of this, knowing what you have. Promise me?”_

_“I promise.” Haruhi whispered. Because she thought she was supposed to but mostly because her mother asked her to._

Haruhi sighed as she drifted aimlessly down a third floor corridor.  _I really wish you were here mother._  She trailed her hand again along the wall. _It’s been ten years already since you’ve been gone. How are things up there?_  She stared out the window, supposing she could read at one of the large floor to ceiling affairs this place was so fond of. But that was rather uncomfortable, and she might get reprimanded for sitting on the sill. Maybe coming to Ouran had been a bad idea. All the students seemed to care about was socializing. But she had wanted the best hadn’t she? She had the mind to get where she wanted; all she had needed was the education to fuel it.  _It had to be among the rich and privileged didn’t it?_ She huffed in irritation. These years were supposed to be lived as a middle-class citizen, but none of the schools she’d looked at had as good an education as Ouran. _Although, this is a perfect chance for a compare and contrast. How I live at home vs. how I live at Ouran._

Haruhi was so deep in thought by the time she stopped she had no idea where she had wandered to. At the end of the hall was a door with another elegant sign above it. _Even the doors have expensive signs. Go figure._ Sighing she squinted past her glasses, she couldn’t read it from where she stood.  _I miss my contacts. Studying was always easier when I don’t have to squint through these lenses._ Maybe it was an abandoned cleaning closet. Sure it might not have a view but – Haruhi swatted at her brown sweatshirt over black pants as she walked – who was she to discriminate? She swatted too at the choppy brown hair falling over her glasses.  _My hair is still a little long, maybe I’ll cut it when I get home._ As she approached the sign came into her limited range of vision.

A music room. The words loomed her head like a warning. She put an ear to the opulent door. No music, no talking, everything was quiet. Wonderful! It was silent and she might even get her view.  _Maybe this will work out…_ A peaceful place to study could go a long way.

Clutching her notebooks and texts under one arm Haruhi grasped the gold handle, turned and pushed into a nightmare. Five boys were artfully placed around a sixth in a throne like chair, posing for whatever newcomer happened to be entering.

Not only were they devastatingly attractive, but they were dreadfully familiar.

“Welcome.”

* * *

 

**Satoan Palace, Crowned Princess's Quarters, Two Months Prior**

In the ornate full length mirror was a girl with pretty long brown hair done up in curls and large eyes in a heart shaped face. Her skin was nice and her waist was small but then again so was her chest. Pretty damned small for a fifteen year old girl. She was swathed in pastel pink and topped with a tiara. She was slender and had very good posture. But to the girl in the mirror the eyes were the best feature. They were Kotoko’s eyes, her mother’s eyes. Haruhi glanced to the left of the gilded mirror where a vanity glittered with powders and paints. She touched the frame of her mother’s glowing face waving from the midst of her four daughters who were all laughing and tumbling around her, a fifth snug in a pink bundle in her mother’s arms. It was one of Haruhi’s happier memories, when no one had been in contention with anyone else because of lineage and rank. Back when no one had wanted her head for her position.

Why couldn’t she have been here? Her fifteenth birthday, the day when every child in Sato began their ascent into adulthood and – for her – to the throne. Her mother should’ve been here helping Haruhi’s lady-in-waiting, Misuzu, with her face, hair, and dress. She would be telling Haruhi how proud she was and that she was beautiful and strong and everything a queen should be. Her mother should be here to get rid of these nasty twitching feelings in her gut.

_Why did I have to get her killed?_

For a moment flashes of the past danced behind Haruhi’s eyes. She clutched the vanity in order to stay upright in the shoes Misuzu had stuffed her into. Her head was pounding and tears threatened to undo her lady-in-waiting’s work. That would be a great thanks for the hour or two she’d spent. Bile rose into Haruhi’s throat as blood smeared across her mind’s eye and screams haunted her ears. Scratch that, vomiting all over her dress would be thanks enough.

She closed her eyes and breathed, thinking of her mother laughing with her and her sisters and not about her last hour. The world stopped spinning and a knock sounded at her door. Haruhi straightened and took a deep breath.  _Calm down Haruhi, you only have to live through the night, and then you’re on your way home._

“Yes?” She called opening her eyes and peering at the large mahogany door behind her pale face in the mirror.

“Your Highness, it’s Misuzu!” A high woman’s voice assaulted the room, even though there was at least half of a foot’s worth of wood between it and the oppressor. Haruhi breathed a sigh of relief.

“Come in, Misuzu,” She turned to greet her maid. She had been a stand in mother to her after... that. That is if a mother could be a man. Sonoda Isao or ‘Misuzu’ was one of the few twinned souls Satoans held dear. Haruhi’s ancestors had worshipped them like today’s royals worshipped tradition. They were people who had united both male and female souls within one body. In the modern western world Misuzu was a cross dresser. It was rare enough to be seen as a gift. Haruhi’s father was one as well.

 _Raised by two cross dressing men, I’ll be lucky to rule as half as well as you, mother._  But her complaints were fond even in her head. They both loved her – if not overly so – and they had taken care of her. At least until she was seven, then she had taken care of herself.

The taller woman came bustling into her thoughts, her skirts threatening to engulf anything and everything in the room. Misuzu had a lined face and kind gray-blue eyes. Her long brown hair was held back with a pink bandana. Her lady-in-waiting was fond of the frillier outfits that were offered to the maids of the royal family. Frilly and pink. Misuzu smiled affectionately and brought her hands to her painted face. “Our little Haruhi! Just look at you! So cute!” The woman made a move to hug the girl, her eyes teary and a little frightening.

“Misuzu! We don’t have another hour to prepare for the function.” Haruhi put her hands out to ward off the coming danger. Misuzu stopped and clasped her large hands in front of her, fidgeting in the depths of her skirt.

“I’m sorry, but you just look so much like Kotoko…” She sniffed. “Oh, it just breaks my heart.”

 _Mine too._  But Haruhi smiled past the pain in her chest and whispered a thank you. Her maid clapped her hands. “Well, if you won’t let me hug you we’d better get you to the hall. I’ll go let the grand marshall know he can inform the guests that the Crown Princess has finally arrived.” Haruhi’s smile faltered as Misuzu turned to bounce back out the door.

It had been a whole year since she’d had to do this. A whole year of peace before she had to come back here to the uncomfortable clothes and shoes and people. It could have been a hundred years and it still wouldn’t have been long enough.  She glanced around the oversized room filled with items that were needlessly expensive. Haruhi was a strange girl, even a strange princess. She had never enjoyed the court life; she’d rather be in discussion with advisors over politics and economic strategy. She doubted she would ever enjoy court much. Socializing just wasn’t something Haruhi _did_. She wasn’t inept but she also wasn’t one of the more charismatic courtesans. This was a problem. It was an important skill for a Sovereign to have. Her mother had had it in spades. She’d also had grace, balance, and tune. Three things the Crowned Princess sorely lacked.

Haruhi’s feet had been carrying her toward the hall. She stepped over the threshold, careful not to topple over her pink heels that matched her floor length dress. Where did people come up with these tortures? Unlike her sisters’ her bedroom was on the ground floor due to its disuse. It also made it easier for her to access to the Throne Hall (where many events in the palace were held) without being accosted by anyone unwanted. Near the end of the corridor a single door was waiting for her to walk out stage-left and confront the hoard of noblemen and women who had come to wish her a happy birthday. The raised dais was situated at the head of room. On it her father would already be in his seat, with his own skirts artfully arranged around him.

Haruhi stopped at the door, hand hovering over the handle. Sweat was already gathering in her palms.  _It’s just a birthday party. Nothing new. You had to live through one last year too._ That didn’t help much. Of course this wasn’t the first time she had attended her own birthday party but this wasn’t any birthday. Haruhi was fifteen. On the Crowned Princess’s fifteenth birthday she will be presented with five men within her age group, as in high school age. These five would be her harem when she became Sovereign. In the midst of those five candidates standing in the ballroom, her First Husband could waiting to dance with her.

Oh, no.

It wasn’t the first time she had met or spoken to a boy but it  _was_  the first time she was expected to dance and act… intimate with them. It sounded awful. And she was eventually supposed to kiss them! And sex!? She had no experience whatsoever with men. Not even a first kiss. She’d never had any confessions junior high, so it had never come up. It hadn’t ever mattered before. What was she going to do?

_You’ve had a whole fifteen years to think about it, to get over it! You won’t have to strip and do it in the ballroom. You have years before you have to do any kind of kissing or touching with anyone._

The grand marshall began his long and overly enunciated title handed down to her by her mother. Her stomach felt like making a surprise appearance on the beautifully tiled floor.

“… 44th Crowned Princess of Sato, Chie Yasuko.” The grand marshall finished. Que the polite quiet applause.

Oh, no.

Haruhi held her breath and stepped through the door, making her way carefully to the throne closest to where she had entered, keeping her head high and shoulders back. There were three thrones on the low stage. The far left would be the Queen’s, the middle was the First Husband’s, and the farthest right was for the Crowned Princess. Her’s.

Once she reached her throne she turned to face the lords and ladies that had gathered for her. The room was big enough to easily house the hundreds of people along with the tables for comfort around the edges of the dance floor. The cherry wood flooring gleamed in the light of the crystal chandeliers hanging overhead. Ivory vines twirled up the pillars that cut into the room, separating the seating from the dance floor. Noblemen and women were clustered around the tables, toward the dais and around the pillars lining the room. Haruhi noticed a line of men to the left but deliberately ignored them. This was the second worst part of the evening. Here’s to hoping she didn’t make a fool of herself. She bowed to audience.

“Thank you, for coming and celebrating my fifteenth year with my family and myself. It is an honor to have you all here with me on this special day.” _Deep breath, this isn’t new._ “It is Satoan tradition for the next Crowned Princess’s First Husband candidates to be presented during this night. I am tremendously thankful for those families who offered their children and loved ones for the continuation of my family’s traditions. And I am certain my mother,” _Keep going. Don’t think. Keep going._ “were she here to say her part, would share my gratitude. It is also customary for the Queen to give the first dance to those offering the candidates. In her stead I ask you to please enjoy the first dance in honor of you all and as a thank you for helping me celebrate the very beginning of my reign.”  Haruhi bowed again before placing her backside ever so gently down on the throne. All during the speech she had studiously ignored the line of men to the left of the dais. She almost sagged, almost. But that would have been unbecoming for a Crowned Princess so she had to make do with reaching out to grasp her father’s hand while the audience clapped with a bit more vigor than the grand marshal had instilled.

 _Lovely, I’m more interesting than a grand marshal. Whatever shall I accomplish next?_  Not vomiting all over her guests would be number one.

“My little princess,” Just as loud and doting as Misuzu, Haruhi’s father clutched her hand to his chest. “Growing up! Look at me. I have tears in my eyes.” He dabbed at the corners of his made up eyes with a handkerchief. Haruhi rolled her own. Her father was actually quite a beautiful woman, a heart-shaped face which she had inherited auburn hair down his back and soft brown eyes that crinkled when he smiled at her like he was now. With pride.

“Dad, please stop. The guests are staring at you.” She gently tugged her hand back, regretting the moment of weakness. Her father tried to keep it but she succeeded in freeing herself. “Can you keep yourself together until I’m done dancing with my…” She nearly choked. “Candidates?”

“Of course little Haruhi.” He dabbed at his eyes some more before winking conspiratorially. “Candidates this time around are something aren’t they?” He gave a smile that was more befitting to someone her age than his.

“Yes… they’re something.” The first dance to the families of the candidates was coming to a close, the music softly fading as everyone began to clap for the orchestra. Haruhi realized she hadn’t even glanced at the royals who were allied to her country – who were giving up their children for her nation’s continued traditions.  _Thoughtless of me._  She skimmed over the faces of royalty. It would have to be remedied later. Allies should never be ignored, should they turn to be enemies.

“Yes,” Her father sniffed. Haruhi jerked her gaze away from the families trailing off the dance floor. “Yes, they’re lovely.” She patted him on the arm while effectively evading his grab for her hand. Years of practice.

A throat cleared loudly and she inwardly cringed, knowing what was coming. The guests were all being ushered back from the dais to make way for the five candidates to stand in front of Haruhi.   _Wait, what…?_

There was one more boy than needed. Why did she have six candidates!? That was one more than bargained for! More than that, he was an exact copy of the boy standing to his right. Twins? This had never happened before. That she knew of at least… had there ever been twins in a Queen’s harem? She would have to research it later. She frantically whispered to her father, “Why are there six?” Once again she clasped his arm, though careful not to let anything show on her face. “Why do I have six candidates?” Her hands must have hurt him because her grip was too tight with panic and confusion but he didn’t let on. Instead her father patted her arm like she had done to him.

“The Hitachiin twins. Cute, neh?” Her father giggled before turning back to the boys. Haruhi turned slowly like a deer turning to stare down the barrel of a gun. This could complicate things in many ways. Twins? Brothers in a harem? It was a frightening prospect. But she was getting distracted – or more accurately, purposely ignoring the boys before her. Haruhi forced herself to actually  _see_  who she would be with for the rest of her life.

The first thing that hit her was how they were all stunningly beautiful. A few were even close to being girlish. But each of them was undeniably male, all holding just that little touch that said man. The grand marshall began the introduction, oldest to youngest. After he was finished she would dance with them, again, oldest to youngest. As each one was announced the candidate would bow and Haruhi would return it with a polite smile and a nod. It would give her time to consider each of them, though that probably wasn’t why the minor tradition had begun. Maybe ogle was the proper word. She couldn’t remember much of her sister’s fathers (her mother’s harem) but they hadn’t looked like  _this._  Had they?

“First Prince of Takum, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, seventeen years of age.” Astonished Haruhi looked over the small boy standing at attention before her. He couldn’t have been more than five feet tall! Surely he wasn’t the oldest of them? Seventeen? And to be from Takum on top of that, Haruhi felt pity for the small boy. Takum was a harsh nation ruled by the most powerful warrior. The only way to pass on the throne was to challenge the current ruler. Once the successor won, their family replaced that of the predecessor. The Haninozuka family had claimed the throne for over five kings. It was an impressive feat and said something about their family’s strength. But obviously they had sent what to them would be considered the runt of the litter. Despite their rather harsh way of life Takumians were a distinctly peaceful people. That particular part of the culture seemed to be thriving within this boy. His angelic features and large brown sugar eyes were in contrast to the defiant set of his small mouth and slim shoulders. The small figure was topped by a mop of cream and cinnamon hair that fell charmingly around his face. He would probably stand at the same height as Haruhi if she weren’t in sky-high heels. Feelings of fondness and protectiveness washed over her as she suddenly saw her little sister in the delicate features of the warrior. He threw out his hand, clutched the other in a fist to the center of his chest and bowed.  _An honorary Takumian bow_. It was absolutely adorable. Though she was sure it wasn’t supposed to be.

“Your Highness.” He said almost robotically, not meeting her gaze. That made her flinch. She told herself, not for the first time, that it wasn’t their choice to be there either. None of them had really wanted this.

“Thank you for coming Prince Mitsukuni.” Maybe it was because it was the first thing truly sincere she had said all night but the small prince finally looked her in the eye and smiled. Just a little. Murmurs went through the room; no Crowned Princess had ever addressed her candidates directly before the first dance. It was an unspoken expectation. One that Haruhi had evidently overlooked.  _Really? Is it that big of a deal?_ Maybe her years of living as a normal person had made things worse for her in court. She suppressed a sigh.  _Well if I’ve already made a fool of myself might as well go all out._  She smiled right back at him and looked to the next in line.

Right on queue the grand marshall spoke. “Second Prince of Takeru, Morinozuka Takashi, seventeen years of age.” This man fit more snugly into his country’s idea of a warrior. Takeru was the brother nation to Takum, their islands so close they were connected by a 24 mile long bridge. The Takeru royal family’s place was earned in the same way but the Morinozuka’s had only been in power for two kings. The Haninozuka’s had supported them in Takeru’s Civil War eighty years ago. Takashi was darker than the rest, but only by a shade or two. He was tall, over six feet tall at least and broad shouldered tapering to a slender waist. He had a calm face that was pleasing to look at with sharp aristocratic features and eyes so dark they matched his short black spiked hair. His features brought to mind a kind man with too much on his mind. His mouth like Mitsukuni’s was set in a hard line that softened when he met her gaze. She had been right; a kind man. He too bowed but kept his arms at his side and maintained eye contact with her like a martial artist. This was a Takerian bow. This time it made her a little nervous, especially that intense stare.

“Princess.” His soft but deep voice carried to her easily over the silence of the rest of the hall.

“Prince Takashi.” Haruhi nodded and smiled again, this time it was tinged with embarrassment. She couldn’t overlook this one. He was too masculine, too wild. Takashi seemed to notice her frustration and kept a small smile of his lips as she focused on the next boy… whose expression caught her off guard.

It was calculating. He was sizing her up behind those sharp glasses. Haruhi was curious instead of frightened or irritated as she probably should be. What kind of boy would already have that look in their eye? She could guess at which of her allies he represented… “Third Prince of Hisen Ootori Kyouya, seventeen years of age.” Hisen. She had been right. Hisen was the only country that would have had any chance at topping Sato for pure strategizing genius; they were well known for their adept politicians and for having top medical research facilities in the world. They had a stable economy and were a worthy ally.  _Great, now you’re quoting political advisory reports._  Kyouya seemed to be a little less than six feet and had a severe cast to his features, almost cold. And suddenly he wasn’t. His features changed to warm and welcoming in the blink of an eye, his lips curing into an almost caring smile.  _Scary._ Yet neither of his expressions had quite reached his eyes. In them Haruhi could see many things; anger, cunning, and maybe a little amusement. He had definitely hadn’t come her via his own free will. She felt a slight kinship to him. She didn’t like being here either. As he bowed his glasses flashed in the light of the chandelier in a rather practiced way.  _He probably knows his eyes are the weak spot in his poker face. Any good politician knows his weaknesses_. His bow was much less stiff than the first two; a common bow between dance partners. Or chess opponents.

“It is an honor, Your Highness.” Kyouya’s voice was not quite as deep as Takashi’s but still just as shiver-inducing as it didn’t quite match that kind smile. Haruhi couldn’t tell what else he was feeling behind those suddenly impenetrable lenses. But it was obvious he didn’t believe it was an honor. Irritation pooled in her foremost thoughts.  _There’s no need to be snarky._

“I’m sure. Thank you for coming, Prince Kyouya.” Haruhi said knowing full well how some of her guests would correctly interpret the rudeness of her comment. Her smile twisted into one that had a bit more skepticism in it.  Murmurs continued around the room about the Crowned Princess’s display that went anywhere from ‘entertaining’ to ‘disgraceful.’ Kyouya looked up to meet her gaze just like Mitsukuni had, but his smile was more akin to Haruhi’s twisted one.  _He’s rather evil looking, though still undoubtedly handsome. The clever one, he would have made a good king for his nation._ Haruhi moved on.

Haruhi’s father had said that the twins were from Tetsuya so the next candidate should be from Daisuke. They had the most prosperous economy out of all of Sato’s allies. A major part of that prosperity was the obscene amount of tourism all year long. Daisuke was well known for having amazingly beautiful land during all of the seasons. On top of that their rulers were rumored to be just as beautiful if not more. Looked like rumors were true.

Possibly the most attractive man yet stood proudly next to Kyouya. “First Prince of Daisuke Suoh Tamaki, sixteen years of age.” The Daisuken Prince’s hair fell in soft half curls about his inhumanly gorgeous features. If Mitsukuni’s hair had been cream and cinnamon then Tamaki’s would be an unadulterated cream. If Haruhi didn’t know any better she would have said the man had a halo. If that wasn’t enough his eyes were teasingly tipped up in the corners and flashed a pristine blue under his long pale lashes. While Haruhi could appreciate the undeniable beauty of Prince Tamaki she did not gasp, squeal, or swoon at the sight of him like all of the female guests (and a few of the males). Even her father whispered his adoration next to her.

“I know my choice.” He waggled his eyebrows her behind the hand he was using to mask his words.

But looks weren’t everything. A person could be as gorgeous as Tamaki and be cruel, or even worse, idiotic.  _But that isn’t supposed to matter in a harem._ No it only mattered in a First Husband. Though this prince would make a lovely First, he might not be the best suited for the job. The fairy tale prince swept a bow contrary to his rather flamboyant appearance. There was no unnecessary movement just his left arm across his chest and bending at the waist, never making eye contact. It seemed a little sad. He seemed a little lost.  _Perhaps I judged him on his looks after all. Even so, surely a boy like this has more confidence and energy?_

“Princess Yasuko.” I frowned at his musically lilting voice better suited to speaking loudly and with elegant authority. That would have matched his image, not the soft tone he used to address her.

“Prince Tamaki, I am grateful you have come.” Haruhi said it softly and with feeling, trying to match Tamaki’s own softness. Maybe she was imagining things. Maybe he was timid and soft spoken, maybe even kind. He looked up at her and there was such sincerity in his eyes it left Haruhi adrift for a moment. They left his face guileless and innocent. But even though his face was open Haruhi couldn’t begin to decipher whatever he was feeling. As she watched his bow transformed into something a little more like she had expected. His head lowered, one leg was placed a step behind him and the arm that wasn’t laid across his chest extended out toward her.

That was more like it.  _Moving on…_

Here were the twins. They were gorgeous just like the rest but Haruhi still found the surprise of one extra guest to be frightening and a tad disconcerting. A drawback of the royal class’s strict adherence to tradition was that once there was a break in the proceedings it threw everything out of balance.  _Although I should be better at taking on surprises, especially ones that are unimportant to the overall outcome. Maybe that’s what I should focus on for the next four years. Being unflappable._ “First Prince of Tetsuya Hitachiin Hikaru, fifteen years of age. Second Prince of Tetsuya Hitachiin Kaoru, also fifteen years of age.” Tetsuya, the closest nation to Sato, had the most extensive ally network in the world. Therefore their spy network was also extremely impressive. On a non-political standpoint it was also the fashion capital of the East Seas. Like Sato, Tetsuya was a matriarchal society, so even though Hikaru was the First Prince they both probably had a sister that was their Crowned Princess. The Hitachiin twins grinned up at her like the fairy tale Cheshire Cat, times two. They had an inch – if that – on Kyouya and seemed to promise wicked things in their gazes as they stared through their lashes at her. Haruhi shivered involuntarily.  _These two are trouble._  They were the only ones not angry or sad to be there. They looked thrilled actually.  _Never mind these two aren’t trouble their scarier than Kyouya._  But for an entirely different reason.

“Hello Princess.” Hikaru and Kaoru said in perfect disturbing unison. They held hands and swept the other one out to either side in a mirror image, brilliant red heads tilting toward each other. It was a bow meant for an audience, like they were a particularly fantastic performance. Haruhi thought it was rather endearing if not off putting. She smiled and nodded at each of them.

“Hello Prince Hikaru, Prince Kaoru.” She took a deep breath and stood. The murmuring and oohing over the candidates quieted.

Instead of ignoring them Haruhi looked each of her princes in the eye as she spoke the preordained words. “I thank you for leaving your home and coming to be here with me. I promise you no harm and eternal support from the Crown and me personally. Please consider my home your own.” This time she bowed to them, both arms out and her right foot behind her and to the left. This was the honorary Satoan bow used only for heroes of war, the Queen’s guard, and the Queen’s harem. It was used for those in the service of the Crown. Clapping sounded through the large hall.

 _Great, now I have to dance._  Unlike her mother, grace was not something she had. Haruhi could refrain from stepping on toes she couldn’t master the part of not looking like a robot. Her father stood next to her as the clapping continued. Haruhi straightened and took her father’s outstretched hands. He led her down the center stairs from the dais to the floor.

Prince Mitsukuni stepped up to her first, and Haruhi’s father placed her hand into his. Haruhi had been mostly right about his height. Mitsukuni had to be a few inches below five foot and they were going to look a little silly on the dance floor. Luckily the first dances between the Crowned Princess and her candidates was not a solo affair, all of the guests joined them in the middle of the hall as the orchestra trilled into life again.

_Please Mom, just don’t let me embarrass myself._

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall, Third Music Room, Two Months Later**

“Welcome.”

Holy crap. Why were they here? What the hell were they doing in an empty music room? Why were they posing?

 _Oh, no. Oh, crap. Oh, shit. Oh, damn. They found me. They know._   _They were waiting for me. This is awful. This is a disaster. This is-_

“Welcome to the Host Club!” Tamaki reached out his hand like he had in the ballroom on her fifteenth birthday. Haruhi had the strange urge to take it but… wait. Host Club?

“Thi-this is a host club?!” Relief poured through her as she sagged against the door that had managed to swing shut behind her. Everything was going to be fine, she wasn’t found out. She had known that some of her candidates attended Ouran Academy. Hikaru and Kaoru were in her class. She had kept her head down and refused to speak any more than necessary and their glances had fallen right past her.  _Um remember!? You were trying to get_ away _. There’s no need to tempt fate here!_ Haruhi began scrabbling for the door handle behind her. Her books almost fell out of her hand and she had to catch them before returning to her seemingly useless search for the handle. The Host Club – i.e. her  _harem_  – watched her struggle with expressions between bored, amused, and moderately interested.

Why the hell had her harem made a Host Club? _Together?!_

“Oh wow it’s a boy.” The twins said like an insect they were observing had just flown away. Their smiles dropped and turned to a look of slightly disappointed boredom.

“Hikaru, Kaoru I believe this young man is in the same class as you isn’t he?” Kyouya dismissed Haruhi and focused on the Hitachiins. He? This young man? Did they think she was a boy? Haruhi stopped scrabbling for a way out as they continued to talk about her in the male form.

“Yeah,” They turned to Kyouya as well. “But he’s shy. He doesn’t act very sociably so we don’t know much about him.” They turned up their hands in an ‘oh well’ gesture. Kyouya tilted his head and hmm-ed. He looked back and Haruhi and gave that twist of lips that meant he knew something important and it was so much more fun for him to keep it a secret.  _I think Kyouya knows. At least the part where I’m a guy… I think. I hope._

“Well, that wasn’t very polite.” Kyouya said half amused and half stern. He flicked that ‘I know something you don’t know’ smile at Haruhi as well. “Welcome to the Ouran Host Club,  _Mr_. Honor Student.” Haruhi shivered just a bit. Oh he knew.

Tamaki thrust himself into her line of sight. “What?!” He gasped coming even closer. Haruhi pressed her back into the door as hard as she could. She didn’t want to get any more involved with these people than she had to. She turned around and grasped the gold handle. She tried to turn it but it wouldn’t budge. Panic swelled and she began to jiggle it hoping for a miracle. “You must be Fujioka Haruhi!” She turned slowly and those big ethereal blue eyes were a foot from her own. Tamaki gaped at her. “You’re the exceptional honor student we heard about.”

She was rather surprised. And maybe a little freaked out. ”How do you know my name?”  _It was worse than I thought! My school days are over!_

Kyouya spoke from behind Tamaki as the latter began to look Haruhi up and down. “Why, you’re infamous. It’s not every day a commoner gains entrance to our academy.” Infamous? Commoner? Did people really still use that term? “You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to find your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Fujioka.” He still had that aggravating smile. Audacious? She was an Audacious Commoner now? Fantastic, just what she needed. Notoriety.

“Well, thank you. I guess…” Haruhi reached back to try for the handle again when Tamaki put and arm around her.

“You're Welcome!” He proclaimed.  _This idiot._  “You’re a hero to other poor people Fujioka.” Poor people? She was middle-class! Not poor by anyone’s standards but theirs!  _Mother, help me. These people are either insane or morons._  “You’ve shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy.”  _Never mind mother, this one truly is a moron._  Haruhi moved out from under his arm, scrambling sideways to maintain and physical barrier. “It must be hard for you to be constantly looked down upon by others.” Tamaki continued to speak grandly and without regard for the ‘poor persons’ feelings and space. He stalked her like a peacock strutting as she continually side-stepped him.

“I think you’re taking this 'poor' thing too far.” It’s not like she was handicapped. If anything they were. They hadn’t grown up seeing the lives of their people and learning from it. They knew nothing other than their rich cage. _And they never will,_ Haruhi thought. Guilt overcame her for a moment when she considered her part in their cage. The guilt faded as Tamaki ignored her and kept talking.

“Spurned! Neglected! But that doesn’t matter now.” He finally got his arm around Haruhi. “Long live the poor!” He got in her face and smiled charmingly.  _If I didn’t know any better – like he thinks I’m a guy – I would say he’s flirting._ ”We welcome you poor man, to our world of beauty!”  _Excuse me?_  Tamaki threw his arms out in wonder.

He was absolutely, idiotic. This man was the most flamboyant peacock in history. Great, one candidate down five more to go. Haruhi turned and headed toward the door. _If I could just-_  but a squeal interrupted her escape.

“Hey!” Mitsukuni, who had been silent up until that point had finally run up to Haruhi and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her back a few feet. He was stronger than he looked, but that she remembered. “Come back here, Haru-chan! You must be like a super hero or something! That’s so cool!” This was not the Mitsukuni she knew from her birthday, he was so much more childlike, he was even carrying a stuffed bunny. And unlike the stoic Mitsukuni she had met this one seemed to speak in exclamation points.

* * *

 

**First dance between Crowned Princess and the candidate Mitsukuni**

With Prince Mitsukuni’s hand holding her own, Haruhi let herself be led to the center of the ballroom as her guest swirled out around them. It gave them the illusion of privacy but not the virtue of it. Though shorter than her the prince pulled her into an easy step. They moved around a few tiles in complete silence. He was a very good dancer even with her for a partner. Haruhi looked at Mitsukuni’s face. He looked so serious and sad and he must have been scared. She would be if she had to leave her home to live somewhere else for the rest of her life.  _How should I make him feel better?_ The deep divot in his otherwise angelic brow caught her eye and she smiled, remembering her mother.

“Did you know that if you keep frowning like that you’ll be stuck that way?” She spoke more freely than she should have because to hell with it. They were in the same boat and they had almost privacy.

Mitsukuni looked up at her in surprise. “Your- your highness?” She rolled her eyes and grinned at him.

“Please, Yasuko. I don’t like ‘Your Highness’ much. Especially since-“ She stopped not really wanting to remind him of his situation.

“Since we’ll be together from now on?” He smiled kindly at her and the expression actually touched those milk chocolate eyes. He seemed to settle more into himself. “Don’t worry Your- Yasuko, I know.”

“I’m sorry.” She looked away, what else could she say? “I hope you like it here, and no matter how formal all that,” She gestured to the stage and her promise to her candidates. “Sounded, I really will try to protect you and make this as… easy as possible.” She looked away, out into the throng of guests. Mitsukuni surprised her this time by laughing.

“Oh princess, you don’t need to accommodate us. And in my country I would be vowing to protect you lest I be smote by the gods.”

“Your people are polytheistic?” Haruhi raised her eyebrows. Mitsukuni smiled.

“For the most part, there are a few pesky monotheists in there.” Haruhi surprised herself by laughing. She was normally a very solemn person, ever since… well, since the incident. The laugh wasn’t what it used to be but it was progress. Maybe these boys would be healthy for her. Mitsukuni’s eyes softened just a bit. “You have a beautiful laugh, but your eyes are still scared, I don’t think I have to ask why.” Her eyes were scared? This boy was way too observant.

Haruhi blushed and laid her temple against his. “Are you scared?” She whispered. Mitsukuni hugged her closer.

“I am terrified.” And she knew how much that revelation cost him. His people were not a touchy feely bunch. “However, I can’t say I’m not a little relieved. You may have guessed my situation in my home country was... not the best.” His beautiful cherubic mouth thinned out in distaste. “I want you to know Yasuko that you saved me from a fate worse than death in my country.” Haruhi could guess.

“Dishonor.” He did not fit the social and cultural expectations of a ruler and would have had to abdicate the throne or be killed by his family if he had won the battle for the throne. He was too fragile looking, too beautiful. He didn’t have enough of the obvious warrior in him. Not like the other young warrior, Takashi.

He smiled at her like a child proud of his silly adult’s insight to his thoughts. “Yes. I am not what my family would have wanted on the throne. And I would have killed myself before I killed my brother in a war for the crown.” Killed? Not fight but killed? Was there no doubt in his mind that he would have won? Interesting…

She was about to question him further, this time on his skill but he spoke before she could. “Yasuko, I would like to know something.” He pulled back to look up at her a new glint in his eye. The song was dying again. Haruhi cocked her head.

“Of course. Ask anything.” She had been the one to pry into personal life.

“What kinds of cake can your chef bake?” Applause sounded and Haruhi lost the sound of Mitsukuni’s laughter at her perplexed expression. Before she could reply another hand slid into hers. She looked up – and up and up. Takashi was standing by their side his large hand holding hers.

Mitsukuni bowed and kissed Haruhi’s other hand. “That’s the end of my song. I leave you in the care of my cousin.” He smiled and headed off. In the direction of the desserts if Haruhi wasn’t mistaken.

Cake?

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall, Third Music Room**

“I’m not a hero, I’m an honor student.” She thought about his exclamation, annoyance clouded rationality for a moment. “And who are you calling Haru-chan!?”

Mitsukuni fell back as Haruhi shook him off. He ran back to Takashi. There were actual tears in his eyes and on any other occasion Haruhi might have felt a tad sympathetic but right now she was fighting off the confusion and annoyance clawing at her. These people needed to leave her alone! The whole reason for the four years between the meeting and her choice between them was to make a decision in peace. Tamaki was still carrying on without an audience. But one of his comments slid into her ear.

“And who would imagine the famous scholar would be so openly gay?”

She turned slowly in his direction. “Openly what?”  _Mother, please if you’re listening. Get me out of here._

Obviously Tamaki was ignoring her. “So tell me what kind of guys you’re into.” Suddenly he was all business taking Haruhi by the arms and gesturing grandly to each of them in turn. “Do you like the strong and silent type?” Takashi looked away from a pouting Mitsukuni to look her in the eye. “The boy Lolita?” Mitsukuni turned too with tears still caught in his lashes. Tamaki turned her forcefully away. “How bout the mischievous type?” Mischievous, that fit the twins perfectly. They turned with their full seductive smirks in place but Tamaki swiveled her again. “Or the cool type.” Kyouya looked up from his ledger to pin her with a mocking stare.

Haruhi pushed away from Tamaki, now panicking in full force. “Uh… I uh… It’s not like that! I was just looking for a place to study!” Tamaki stalked toward more like a lion than a peacock. Maybe it was just her changed perspective. He slid an arm around her waist and put a hand on her cheek.

“Or maybe,” He slid his hand under her chin tilting her face up to his. “You’re into a guy like me. What do you say?” He stroked the skin between her chin and bottom lip.

Haruhi would later edit out the unfortunate squeak as she jumped away from Suoh Tamaki, her fourth candidate. She was so busy trying to get away from him that she bumped a blue vase and was able to watch it tumble from its pedestal. She spun and lunged but it was far too late.  _This is major bad luck, I can feel it. I’m going to die a horrible death. With these people laughing over me. Possibly posing on my grave._

The vase shattered under the six pairs of eyes (Kyouya was still writing away in his ledger). Haruhi held her breath as the glass bounced in every direction. Her hand was still stretched out for it.

“Aww.” Hikaru and Kaoru came up behind her. “We were going to feature that renaissance vase at an upcoming school auction.” Only one of them was speaking now but she didn’t know them well enough to tell. The other one chimed in.

“Oh now you’ve done it commoner. The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at eight million yen!” Haruhi’s heart seemed to vanish on the spot. Eight million yen? For a vase? Sure it had been pretty but not eight million yen worth of pretty!

“Uh, I’m gonna have to pay you back.” She said without thinking. The twins answered.

“With what money? You can’t even afford a school uniform.”  _Oops._ Being in this opulent room with people she was only supposed to know at the palace was throwing her off. One of them, she thought it was Hikaru pulled at her shirt.

“What’s with that grubby outfit you’ve got on anyway?” Haruhi stared at the ridiculous change in subject. These two were much more callous than they had been at her party. Acting? Haruhi carefully tucked that tidbit into mental filed of the twins.

Kyouya came up behind her a piece of the shattered vase held in his hand. “Well what do you think we should do Tamaki?” Really? They were asking  _that_  one? Her future was ruined. There was no way Fujioka Haruhi could pay this off. Chie Yasuko? Sure no problem, but not her slightly awkward, middle-class doppelganger.

Tamaki sat in his chair that had lain forgotten amongst the madness. “There’s a famous saying that you may have heard Fujioka. ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do.’” What did that have to do with anything? He continued gravely speaking over his steepled fingers. His change in attitude disturbed her. “Since you have no money you can pay with your body.”  _What?!?_ “That means starting today, you’re the host club’s dog.”

Oh, no.

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall, Third Music Room, Host Club, Later that Day**

Fujioka Haruhi was brilliant. There was no doubt of that. She had been at the top of her class throughout her elementary and middle school career. She was the most impressive strategist her tutors had ever taught. She had gotten into the most prestigious school in Sato on full scholarship. So how – despite _all_ of that – was she now stuck in an indentured servant situation with six bored rich teenagers?

Who were supposed to be a part of her _harem._

And all them - except Kyouya probably - thought she was a _guy_!

Haruhi raised her eyes to the ceiling in prayer as she returned to the music room from her shopping excursion the rich bastards had insisted on. _Mother, I implore you, get me out of here!_ Haruhi set the brown bag of groceries down on one of the rolling carts in the music room. Someone called to her over the racket of girls giggling and hosts playing them. "There you are!"

She turned to find Tamaki leaving a lovely Western red-head alone on a love seat and hurrying over to her. He smiled cheekily and waved a finger. "Did you get everything I asked?" Haruhi looked beyond him to the offended look the young lady had. She smiled apologetically at the girl before answering Tamaki.

"Yes, senpai." Haruhi returned to taking out the groceries out and placing them on a cart to take to the back room. Heat came over her back as Tamaki leaned over to take something from the cart. Haruhi’s back went rigid as she felt Tamaki come a little too close for comfort. Her arm was still out gripping the box of Italian cheese she'd taken out. His reached past to pluck the instant coffee up and examine it. She relaxed as he moved away with it. Because boys hadn't been a part of her life before her birthday (and even after that) she had absolutely _zero_ experience with touching in general, besides the dances. She'd have to research boys and intimate situations. Haruhi did not like being unprepared.

"What is this?"

Haruhi glanced over her shoulder at the coffee in his hands and frowned, questioning his sanity. "Coffee?"

"I don't recognize it. Is it already ground?"

She sighed inwardly, she could see where this was going. "No senpai, it's instant coffee."

Gasps sounded all around as curious girls came to inspect whatever Tamaki was so interested in. The red-head, Haruhi noticed was pointedly not impressed. "This is commoners coffee!" Again with the commoner? "I hear all you have to do is add water!" Oohing and aahing all around. Even Hikaru and Kaoru were wandering over trailing their own small clumps of girls. Haruhi noticed theirs wasn’t as large as the one around Tamaki.

Even Kyouya had come over without his clipboard. "Only 300 yen for 100 grams? Impressive."

The twins raised an eyebrow each. "What an odd price."

Haruhi huffed on exasperation. "I'm sorry! I'll go buy the expensive coffee! No need to be rude." She started to reach for the coffee but Tamaki held it out of her reach. Another thing to annoy her; all of them except for Mitsukuni was bigger and stronger than her, well perhaps Mitsukuni was stronger but his reach was just as short as hers.

"No!" Tamaki held up a hand imperiously. "I'll try it." More gasps from around the room. _Oh my goodness._ Tamaki stood and cried out. "I will try this commoners coffee!" Applause from around the room, except for Kyouya who made his way back to his notes. Haruhi sighed again before making her way to get another tray for hot water and cups. _Is this going to happen every day? Tamaki and his eccentrics? I should take that into consideration when deciding who to…_ Haruhi let the thought trail off unfinished, a little irrationally angry that the boys she was supposed to be _getting away from_ had managed to contaminate her school life. She didn’t want to think about court and all the decisions just waiting for her to leave the safety of her preparation years.

Ten minutes later a few of the girls and all of the hosts – save Kyouya – had cups of instant coffee that Haruhi had had to make for them. Tamaki made yet another scene when a small girl made a fuss over drinking it.

"What if I let you drink it from my lips?" He asked her, perously close to contact with the girls lips. She swooned and unsurprisingly drank the coffee. No one else argued either. They exclaimed over the odd taste and the surprise that it was actually edible. _Save me from these sheltered ridiculous people._ Haruhi prayed to her ancestors. _And please don’t let me end up like them._

A cool voice spoke from the couch beside Haruhi where she was collecting dirty cups and silverware. "Oh Tamaki-sama, you always carry it too far." Haruhi turned to find the girl Tamaki had been sitting with was staring at her tea. "There is no way such a lowly person's drink will appeal to you." She laughed quietly. "I beg your pardon." She looked up at Haruhi. "I was talking to myself."

She was pretty in the severe way many Western business women were. She held herself in the way high-class royalty were taught, shoulders back, spine stiff. Her features were sharp and aristocratic, she looked vaguely European. Her dark dark eyes did not smile with the rest of her. This person did not like Haruhi. Haruhi was perplexed at the other girls attitude when they had barely even met. Had she done something to offend? Before Haruhi could comment or speak at all the girl rose and drifted away through the tables like a harbinger of doom.

 _Such happy thoughts Haruhi._ She thought to herself.

Haruhi kept catering to the Hosts and their guests, and as she passed each table snippets of conversation could be heard. All of the hosts were schmoozing a whole lot of girls with absolutely ridiculous lines. The worst part was the girls liked it.

As she worked Haruhi noticed the roses on each surface. At each little meeting spot an ostentatious vase of roses were placed in the center of each table. They were all different colors and coordinated into sections. There were white, orange, light blue, dark blue, baby pink and cool purple roses. They were in certain sections, the oranges and light blue’s all shared tables, as did the dark blues, and baby pinks. The purple and white flowers had their own tables and were untainted with any other colors. How odd.

Takeshi and Mitsukuni came then to meet their guests. Haruhi wandered over to replace their teapot. They were at a blue/pink rose table. Mitsukuni was on Takashi's back rubbing his eyes. "Sorry we're late." Mitsukuni yawned adorably. "I fell asleep waiting for Takashi to finish with his swordsmanship club." He smiled, his big honey eyes still sleepy. "I guess I'm still a little tired."

His guests squealed at his cuteness. Haruhi wondered if Takashi minded being used as a mode of transportation for the tiny prince. He carefully let Mitsukuni climb off his back and onto the couch between two of the guests. Takashi sat across from him in between the other two. Mitsukuni immediately struck up a conversation, picking up Takashi’s missing side. Takashi didn’t seem to mind his cousin speaking for him.

A raucous laugh caught Haruhi’s attention and she turned away from the giant and the dwarf to see the twin Cheshire’s playing it up at a blue/orange rose table. Past them a group of Tamaki’s was getting up, leaving behind their dishes next to the bouquet of white roses. _The roses must be host-coordinated._ As she made her way to them she overheard the twins’ scene.

One of them, Hikaru, was laughing and gesturing to engage his audience of two first-years. “And then Kaoru bolts straight up in bed screaming about-” Kaoru interrupted him.

“Hikaru! Don’t tell them that.” He put a knuckle to his lips and closed his eyes looking embarrassed and near tears. “You’re so mean telling them about that…”

In a move faster than Haruhi could follow and made her stop in her path for a moment Hikaru was up out of his chair and leaning intimately over his twin, taking his chin in his hands to tilt his face close to his. Really close to his.

“I’m sorry Kaoru.” He whispered just loud enough for their audience to hear them. “You were just so cute. I only wanted to show you off.” He leaned ever closer teasing the girls squealing and clutching each other across from them.

Haruhi rolled her eyes for the dozenth time that day, maybe even that hour. "I just don't understand." She muttered before cleaning up after Tamaki's last group of students. He was at another table wooing yet another gaggle of them.

One girl fluttered her lashes and leaned against Tamaki’s side clutching her cup of tea. “Tamaki-kun, what is your favorite song?”

Tamaki took her chin into his hands and cradled her face. “The one that reminds me of you, of course.” She squealed in pleasure.

Another one tentatively offered him a plate of cake. "I - I baked this for you in home ec. Will you try some?" Tamaki tilted her face to meet his eyes.

"Only if you will feed it to me." Chin grabbing seemed to be a thing with him.

Haruhi couldn't believe how easily girls fell for him. Personally she found it unbecoming when he swept through one after another. Didn't he like anyone in particular? Although she had to admit there was honesty in every word he uttered. He truly saw them as people deserving of his fawning. Suoh Tamaki was an enigma with a clear explanation that explained nothing of interest. He intrigued her.

Damn it.

“This really can’t be that entertaining for them can it?” Haruhi asked no one in particular, staring at the swooning girls.

Kyouya answered from behind her. “Oh yes. Tamaki is by far our most popular host, he has more requests than anyone else." Haruhi turned to see Kyouya smiling at his clipboard. He stepped up beside before pushing his spectacles farther up his perfect nose and looking up to where Tamaki was even now wooing girls into drinking the dreaded 'commoners coffee.' "His 'prince charming' routine is extremely useful when attracting clients." His glasses flashed approvingly. "Honey-senpai draws them in with his Lolita charm, while Mori attracts them with his strong and silent personality."

Haruhi interrupted his assessment. "Honey and Mori?"

"Haninozuka Mitsukuni and Morinozuka Takashi. Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai for short."

Haruhi nodded in understanding. Names were an important thing to both the Takeru and Takum cultures and only family or very close friends were suppose to use a person's birth given name.

"And then we have the Hitachiins. They attract many more customers together than they ever would apart. Their mischievous and forbidden nature of their 'brotherly love' package is highly effective." He smiled proudly, but Haruhi couldn't tell if the expression touched his eyes because of the glare on his glasses. "It is our club's policy to utilize everyone's individual characteristics to suit the needs of our guests.

Haruhi was still contemplating the terrifying way Kyouya had simply listed his club members as though they were assets in a business when a cry made her turn back toward where Mitsu-Honey and Mori were entertaining.

"Haru-chan!" All at once blonde hair covered her vision as Honey collided with her and held on. Her ears were assaulted with a childs gleeful voice. "Haru-chan! Will you have some cake with me?"

Still a bit off balance, Haruhi stumbled and caught herself. "Um, no thank you senpai. I don't really like sweet things."

That didn't deter him in the least. "Ok! Then do you want to hold Usa-chan?"

"Usa-chan?"

Honey stepped back and held up the large stuffed bunny he had been holding. It was... adorable. And reminded her of the rabbit her mother had given to her youngest sister just days before she had been... before she had gone. It had been smaller and white rather than pink but it was the same worn fabric, the same seemingly amused look in the bunny's small face.

She smiled warmly at Honey and Usa-chan. "He's kind of cute huh? You wouldn't mind if I held him?" She reached out to pat the stuffed toys head. She looked up to meet Honey's eyes to find them wide and his cherubic mouth open and round. Her veins seemed to flow with ice. Her face shut down in panic, the smile she'd had now a tad forced. Did he know? Had he figured out who she was? Was he going to out her in front of everyone? No one would believe him. But it could cause problems. It could cause suspicions.

But he did nothing. Honey simply smiled wider than she had ever seen and flounced away calling back. "Take good care of him, okay?"

Haruhi still couldn't move, clutching the stuffed bunny by the head. She readjusted, now holding Usa-chan to her chest to ward off danger. Did Mitsukuni know? If he did why didn't he call her out? Maybe to blackmail her? Or maybe he just saw past the 'guy' facade. Not that she had been doing anything to encourage the mistake the Host Club had made.

Hope flared back to life. Maybe if she could keep up the ruse they wouldn't suspect her true identity.

"By the way, what with your 8 million-yen debt," Ice crowded back into her veins as Haruhi turned to face Kyouya. "You'll be serving us until you graduate." Her back stiffened in fear and anger. This man was a strategist like her. Next would come the threat to be sure she kept her part of the bargain. He didn't disappoint. "You are of course welcome to run away, but I'd want you to know that I have access to a private police force of at least 100 trained proffessionals." He smiled winningly and cocked his head. "I suggest you stay close." Haruhi made a mental note to have Ootori Kyouya's assets and contacts listed and sent to her. It would be good to know what she's up against should anything ever pit them against each other. And especially if he was going to be part of her harem, where he could be privy to many government secrets. Kyouya would be a dangerous and interesting opponent.

During their very one-sided conversation, Tamaki had sidled up behind here. "Work hard, Haruhi." He blew into her ear and she let out another embarrassing yip before jerking away and facing him with Usa-chan between them. _A lot of protection that's going to offer._

"Please don't do that. It was incredibly rude." She rubbed at the ear he had teased.

Tamaki ignored her. Haruhi suspected it was a habit he kept with everyone. Selective Deafness. "You know..." He put a hand to his perfectly defined jaw. "You're never going to get a date with what you're wearing." Haruhi almost laughed.

"I don't want to get any dates."

"What are you talking about? Everyone needs love!"

"It's just not my priority right now." Especially with all of her possible 'loves' laid out for her. She needed to concentrate on school.

He ignored her. Again. "Growing into a gentlemen, pleasing the ladies, is absolutely priority."

"But it’s not priority." She said so matter of factly and with no place for argument Tamaki stopped yapping. Haruhi took her chance. "Men, women, appearances, pedigrees and all that. What matters is the person. What's important is what's on the inside right?" Sadness darkened her glum mood even further. Odds were slim to none that she would ever get the chance to look for her own love. The only chance she had was if he happened to be inside her harem and looking around those odds were also none. She sighed. "I just don't understand what you're all doing"

She looked up into that charming face that was open and honest. He was staring at her and actually considering what she was saying.

"It's a cruel thing, isn't it? Once in a while God creates the perfect person, inside and out." _Is he for real?_ "I understand how you must feel, wanting to console yourself." _Oh my God he is._ "Otherwise you just couldn't live with yourself could you? But think of it this way! Why would they put art in museums if not to...?” Haruhi began to tune him out, distracting herself the way she did in court, with a game her mother had taught her.

_Ok so a word to describe him perfectly. Go._

_Well a big-mouth. But that's only a part of him. Needy? Annoying? Selfish? Hmm. Might be on the right track there. Self-important. Self-indulgent. No not quite. Insufferable? Odious. Pesky. Pain in the neck. Offensive. No there's something... It's the perfect word. Objectionable... Outrageous... No it's... That’s it!_

“Do you understand? Did I strike a chord?”

_Obnoxious!_

It was amazingly silent. Haruhi focused on the present again to find Tamaki staring at her with hurt in his startling blue eyes. Only then did she realize she had let the last bit of her inner game become audible. _Oops._ Tamaki was suddenly curled in a corner facing away from them all, like a small child sulking.

“Tamaki-senpai?” She started toward him but arms curled around her shoulders from both sides. The twins had come over while Tamaki had been ranting.

“Well done, commoner!”

“You really are a hero aren’t you” They laughed together and leaned against her. Haruhi tried to shake them off, to no avail. She really wasn’t used to boys touching her. On top of that she didn’t really want to get rid of their hold, which irked her. They had gotten under her skin too quickly.

Haruhi called out to Tamaki trying to cheer him up. “Senpai, I’m sorry. You’re speech did make sense, I suppose.” She hedged.

Slowly, gracefully, Tamaki stood to his full height a good foot over her. His solemn, tearful expression changed to one of confident glee. “Then let me teach you more!”

“Well he got over that quickly.”

One of the twins, she was fairly certain it was Kaoru, raised a brow. “Sir?” He sighed and the other one – Hikaru – carried on.

“You can teach him the basics of hosting as much as you want but he hasn’t even passed the first aesthetics test.” Hikaru took his arm from around Haruhi’s shoulder, Kaoru doing the same. _I am not disappointed.. I am not disappointed. I am not-_ They were sizing her up and scanning her form head to toe. Kaoru reached out. “Even if you take off his glasses it won’t do much-“

“Hey, give me those! I can’t see!” Haruhi reached blindly for her glasses that Kaoru had taken. Nothing but silence and air greeted her. She really had awful eyesight. Blobs of color moved about her and she heard twin gasps, she lunged for the one she thought had her glasses but they pinned her arms to her sides. “Hey!”

A hand grabbed her chin and forced her up. Her breath caught in her throat and for the second time that day she thought they knew. Without her glasses she looked a little more like Chie Yasuko Crowned Princess of Sato and less like the geeky middle-class Fujioka Haruhi. What if they recognized her?!

A snap of fingers. Her heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest and pound away and out of the room. “Hikaru! Kaoru!” Was that Tamaki’s voice? It was so demanding, a new side to his flamboyant personality. All of a sudden the hands gripping in place were now pulling her through the air. Where were the twins taking her?!

Behind her she heard Tamaki baring more orders. “Kyouya, hair! Mori-senpai, we need contact lenses! Honey-senpai…”

She saw the shape of doors swing open and shut and suddenly she and the twins were in the back room, the unfamiliar fuzzy shapes of the sink, counters, cabinets and changing stalls swimming to and fro across her vision.

“Hikaru? Kaoru? What’s going on?”

“Change into this.” They said together, dropping her through a curtain – probably one of the changing stalls. They held up a shape. It was blue.

A uniform?

“What? Why?” She backed up against the wall.

“Don’t ask questions!” She saw their shapes lunge for her, blue form in hand. She yelled in shock.

“What? Stop! No way!” But they continued to grab at her and when one of them grabbed her arms, wrenched them above her head and another pair of hands slid her too big sweater up over her ribs she screamed and pushed until they fell through the curtain again. “Alright! Fine! I’ll change! But you two have to _get out!_ ”

She heard silence and then giggles.

Great. They knew she was a girl too. Her safe card was beginning to lose its usefulness. This bunch was too pushy. Haruhi felt the cloth in her hands, feeling around for the openings and tie. It was a boys uniform. Hmm.

Nearly an hour later, after Mori-senpai and a team of hair dressers had come in to give her contacts and a hair do-over respectively Haruhi was looking at herself in the full length mirror. She looked… strange. She was used to seeing herself all prettied up but this was different. Not exactly the opposite of her _female_ dressed up self but more… natural? Her hair was short and neatly cut, giving her a common boy-next-door air. However matched with her big eyes Haruhi had to admit that she was at least nice looking. For a guy. _Great._

Something else occurred to her. “Um, Senpai?” She hesitated at the curtain. She knew the entirety of her harem was out there waiting for her.

“Done changing yet?” Tamaki called back.

“Can I really keep this uniform?” It was extremely expensive for an outfit, and she was supposed to be a middle-class citizen. _300,000 yen. I may faint._ She pushed the hanging fabric aside and stared up at her new annoyances.

Gasps all around, again excluding Kyouya and Mori.

“So adorable!”

“Oh Haru-chan! So cute!”

“If that’s how you really look…”

“You ought to have said so sooner.”

Getting a reaction from everyone but one made her a little unsure. She looked to Mori-senpai who, out of all of them, was probably the sanest. He nodded in approval. The corners of his mouth twitched. Haruhi took that as a good sign.

Until Tamaki spoke.

“So it’s decided then! Starting today you are an official member of the Host Club!” He declared, jabbing his finger imperiously at her. If you can get 100 customers to request you, we will forgive your debt.”

“What?!”

_Mother, what have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall, Third Music Room, Host Club, the Next Day**

Her first official hosting was actually the next day. Haruhi’s first experience as a host went better than expected. Which was a relief and also a little scary. Was she just as manipulative as the boys? And if so, did that mean their relationship was going to be based on it?

What a sad thought.

Haruhi was placed in front of three first years who wanted to know all about her.

“Haruhi-kun, what are your hobbies?”

“Do you use anything on your skin? It looks so soft!”

“So Haruhi-kun? What made you join the Host Club?”

They were relentless! _What made me join the club? Oh well, I broke an expensive vase and since I couldn’t let my harem find out I was the Princess – the same Crowned Princess they’re supposed to give up their freedom for – I decided to agree to their ridiculous demand that I get 100 customers. Oh and before I forget at least four of them still think I’m a guy!_ Right, there was no way she could do this. She was going to have to cut her losses after this.

No. That was wrong. She was Haruhi, of the Chie line. Her ancestors had been masters of strategy and combat. They had forged treaties that lasted millennia. There was absolutely no reason why she could get through a little… flirtation. It was just court. It was her first Strategy in War course all over again. How to make an ally happy and obtain a treaty. _What did they want? Easy, they wanted to be wooed, to feel beautiful and wanted. Perhaps wanted for more than their money or beauty? Moving on. Could you give them what they wanted? Sure. Just be honest. Ignore the money, ignore their looks focus on them. Just be a good listener. Every girl wants a man hanging on their every word. Be honest. Be kind._

_Strategy laid out? Set to conquer. Go._

She began by smiling at them like she would her most dear little sister. She answered the easiest question. “I love to cook. My mother left me recipes she had made or liked after she,” Deep breath. Keep going. “Passed away. I like to try them one by one and see how they turn out. I most like it when I have someone to try them with me. Sharing a meal you made with someone you love is always the most rewarding experience.” At some point during her talk she had looked down. _Maintain eye contact_. _Be sincere. Include them._ She looked up to meet their gazes. “Don’t you agree?”

She was shocked to realize they were all swooning or tearing up. Was that her? One of them spoke, a black hared pixie.

“So you’re mother? She passed away? I’m so sorry Haruhi-kun. But then… do you do all the chores around the house?” Haruhi looked down again. It was hard talking about her mother. Especially the way she had died. It still haunted her.

But she had to get through this.

“Yes, I do them all. My dad he’s… working a lot of the time and so I don’t want to burden him with taking care of me too. So I take care of him as much as I can.” Technically true. Haruhi knew her eyes were tearing and she used it to her advantage. She looked up and met their eyes each one for a moment. “Whenever my cooking turns out well my dad is always thrilled. I love watching him remember when my mother made the same dishes.” She smiled tremulously letting the tears catch in her lashes as she blinked.

It worked.

“Um… Would it be ok if…?”

“Could we request you again tomorrow?”

Haruhi grinned at her guests with all the pleasure she felt at that moment. “Yes, please. I would appreciate that.”

“Haruhi!” And there was that idiot calling for her. He might ruin her progress. _Right 3 down 97 to go, such progress._ Maybe she needed to be a little less sarcastic with herself. It wasn’t helping her mood.

Tamaki was sitting with the severe Western aristocrat from yesterday. She was probably a regular. “Yes senpai?”

He waved grandly at the young woman sitting beside him, introducing her much the same way he had been at her party. “May I introduce the First Princess of Andorra, Ayanokoji Seiki.” Andorra was a very small country of 180 sq miles between France and Spain. They had an economy that was based almost entirely on trade. No need to woo or ally. Not that she needed to, she was Haruhi here not Yasuko. _Plus she doesn’t like me._ And still because it was how she was raised Haruhi smiled and bowed slightly at the waist as though she were a commoner and the person before her was a princess not her own.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Next thing she knew Haruhi was in the uncomfortable hold of Tamaki as he hugged her too him and cried above her yells of release. “That was perfect Haruhi! You’re just so cute! The air of bashfulness was very good!”

She was becoming used to the boys touching her casually but this was too much. She was being pressed against his chest and while it would have been pleasant under other circumstance (like he knew she was female) at the moment it was causing her to panic. Catching sight of possibly the only person who could help her, Haruhi called out to the tall figure on the other side of the room. “Mori-senpai! Help!”

In another moment Haruhi was floating in the air, being held aloft by Takashi whose face was more open than she had seen it yet. In less than a second Haruhi took in his face and the feel of him. He was surprised, shocked even. The feel of his hands on her waist even through the suit jacket and shirt brought a bit of heat to Haruhi’s cheeks. This was all terribly familiar and Haruhi had a feeling Takashi knew exactly who she was.

Because he had swung her around exactly like that at her birthday celebration.

* * *

 

**Second dance between Crowned Princess and the candidate Takashi**

Haruhi turned away from Mitsukuni’s retreating back. She looked all the way up into Prince Takashi’s eyes.

“Cake?”

A smile threatened the corners of his mouth as he leaned to take her other hand and place it on his broad shoulders. It was only thanks to the heels that she didn’t dangle from him like an ornament. He stooped to put his mouth just above her ear, almost kissing her temple. “Mitsukuni loves sweets. You could say it I his guilty pleasure, although he’s never very remorseful.”

Haruhi was enormously glad that this candidate at least was not sulking, and also did not hate her. She smiled up at him and let him lead her around the dance floor. After a moment or two she realized she should probably speak to him. “Prince Taka-”

“Please Princess, I heard you and my cousin speaking. Could we move past formalities too?” His calm black eyes stared deeper than they were meant to. She grinned uncomfortably.

“There are going to be some fits amongst the royals.” She laughed but sobered again. She thought of her conversation with Mitsukuni. If she could confront her candidates feelings maybe they would be easier to speak to and get to know. One way to find out. “Takashi,” He smiled and a small thrill went done her spine and settled low in her belly. “Are you… I know some candidates are angry or scared about being… here. I was wondering if you feel the same.” The smile vanished and he looked out over the crowd. It wasn’t hard for him to do as he stood a good few inches over everybody. Haruhi couldn’t read his face.

“I’m sorry.” She said looking down and away. “It was rude of me to ask, and it obviously made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to-”

“No.”

She looked up in shock. “Really?” This time his smile was a little sadder.

“I am sorry to leave my family behind but it was my duty to come here,” He paused a moment, considering perhaps how much to tell me. “With Mitsukuni.” Haruhi nodded. So they were close.

“I know that Takeru already has a king, but no heirs yet. Are you King Satoshi’s… brother?” Haruhi cocked her head and met the giant man’s intimidating stare. Her mother’s had been scarier.

“Yes.” He whispered. “He has just ascended. We didn’t want to upset our nations’ alliance.” Haruhi smiled kindly up at him.

“Don’t worry. Takeru is still a trusted friend of Sato’s and will continue to be,” She smirked. “Even if they had refused to send me a boy for my birthday.”

It was Takashi’s turn to laugh. It was a deep luscious sound that was probably heard once in a life time. Haruhi remembered what Mitsukuni had said. “You’re still sad.” She said, her neck was beginning to ache so she laid it against his chest. “I will try to make this easy for all of us but,” She sighed. “I’m scared too.” Maybe she had to tell them all that. Let them know she had no idea what she was doing just like the rest of them.

The song was speeding up and Haruhi, being the least coordinated out of all her sisters tripped over her own feet. In a move straight out of a child’s fairy tale Takashi picked her up before she could fall and spun to set her down again, still clutching her to him and covering her fumble. In the air Haruhi saw the crowd swoosh by, saw the colors of dresses and sheer fabrics, saw her father on the throne. The warmth at her waist and in her belly seemed to beat in sync. When she touched down again Takashi removed his hands from her waist and bowed to kiss her hand just like Mitsukuni had. It was only then Haruhi realized the song had climaxed into nonexistence. She smiled breathlessly at the tall boy only a few years older than her.

“That was wonderful. Thank you Takashi.” She ducked her head a little. “And thank you for catching me.”

“My pleasure.” He slid a glance over his shoulder and his eyes darkened just a bit. A warning look.

“Takashi.” Haruhi called his attention again. His dark eyes met her brown. “I would love to hear you laugh again.” She reached a hand up to pull his face down to hers. In her heels with Takashi leaning down she barely managed to brush her lips against his cheek. He looked puzzled and pleased at the same time before darkening his features into the same warning look he’d given earlier. He met her eyes again and turned to where Mitsukuni had wandered to.

“Princess.” The voice was just as deep as Takashi’s but much darker. Haruhi knew who was next in line to dance and it was no wonder Takashi had slid him a warning look. Haruhi wondered at his actions. He had warned him off. He had been protecting her. A surge of emotion clung to her insides and for a moment she couldn’t name it. Trust. Takashi had gained – if only a little – of her trust. Curious.

Haruhi turned to the image of a fallen angel smiling as charmingly as the snake must have smiled at Eve. Kyouya held out his hand. “Kyouya Ootori of Hisen, Your Majesty.” This one was going to keep her on her toes.

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall, Third Music Room, Host Club**

“M-mori-senpai.” Tamaki was still yapping behind Haruhi as she was held at arm’s length _off the floor_. “There was no need to go that far.” Mori stared at her as he gently lowered her to the floor in front of him. Once he let go Tamaki pounced again.

“Come on, come back next to Daddy’s heart.” Haruhi refrained from growling at her senpai. _Daddy? Who does he think he is?!_ She couldn’t stop from snapping at him, turning away from Takashi’s inscrutable gaze.

“I already have a father, I don’t need two!” Haruhi caught sight of Princess Ayanokoji’s expression. Intense anger and hatred gleamed form her eyes and her painted lips were twisted into a scowl. Unconsciously, Haruhi took two steps back while cursing herself for the flinch. If this woman hated her so much she needed to show indifference, not fear. Hatred was nothing new for Haruhi.

Her sisters hated her much more than this insignificant Princess.

So gathering herself she looked away from Ayanokoji. “Tamaki-senpai, I don’t need you hovering.” She snapped at blonde oaf before stalking away to rejoin her guests. They had waited for her. _Thank goodness._

_3 down, 97 to go._

The rest of the club time passed without even so much as a hiccup. In the remained half hour Haruhi had two more customers promise to request her again. She was just bidding them a good rest of the day when Kyouya seemingly appeared on her right. She gasped and took a step back.

“Kyouya-senpai!” She took a deep breath to ready herself. Any conversation with Kyouya would be intense and rife with anxiety on her part. She wasn’t a princess right now, who could deftly maneuver through or play word games.

“I’m sorry if I startled you” He said not looking sorry at all. “I was only coming over to update you on your debt.”

She sighed. “There’s no need senpai. I have five customers so far.” She tried not to look proud.

“But I assume you would like to know that as you are a host now, your debt will be much easier to pay off as you’ve seen today. I expect instead of being here till graduation you could possibly be done in two or three years.” He smiled and his glasses flashed. “Work hard.”

 _Well three years is better than four._ As Kyouya turned to leave Haruhi said. “Thank you senpai. You work hard too.” He threw a look over his shoulder that she recognized from her birthday. Amusement.

* * *

 

**Third dance between Crowned Princess and the candidate Kyouya**

Haruhi took the offered hand and Kyouya gently closed in on her as though he were being careful not to spook a frightened animal. They met in the middle, his hands going around her waist and hers around his neck. They danced like that, very intimately in dead silence. She took the opportunity to observe. Kyouya of Hisen was nothing short of dangerous. But past his looks Haruhi saw the same cunning she had seen in her mothers and sometimes if she was lucky, in her own.

His movements were just as calculated as his thoughts seemed to be. All of them geared toward projecting an image of refined upper crust mediocrity. _Yeah, right_. Haruhi sifted through all her knowledge of Hisenese culture, economy – their trade.

She hid her expression by turning out toward the crowd. “The Daisuke’s eastern trading enterprises do not seem to be doing well. The straights are rife with pirates. I imagine the ruling house of Hisen is losing funds to reimbursing its businesses that are losing products.” She smirked just the tiniest bit as Kyouya tensed. “The most profitable healing herbs come from Daisuke don’t they?” Hisen had the top medical facilities in the world. She hummed and continued, “Although, now that I think on it. The herbs can’t make it anywhere else in the East can they? Hmm. It seems Hisen would actually be doing well in the long run. Not much competition in the medical field is there?” She turned up to look at Kyouya and smiled her most charming court smile. “Rather lucky isn’t it?” She turned back to the crowd.

“You’re quite observant Princess.” He whispered, his warm breath whooshing over the top of her ear. She nearly shivered. Nearly.

“If we could cease with the formalities?” She asked curtly. “And yes I do try to be observant. It’s a must have quality don’t you agree Kyouya?” Peeking at him, she could have sworn his jaw was locked. Anger? Amusement?

“Yes, Yasuko. I do.” He met her eyes once again. “May I be frank?”

A quick burst of relief, while word games were fun, they really were trying. “Please.”

“I do not want to be trapped in a palace for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be,” He paused, searching for words. “pampered for the rest of my life.” He gauged Haruhi’s reaction and she made sure there was none. She understood that. She didn’t think she could do it if someone were to ask her to sit back and be a doted baby-maker for the rest of her life. She’d need action. Guilt swarmed her and she tried desperately to keep it from her face. She was successful. It was about the only power she had; a decent poker face. Kyouya looked away again, aggravatingly calm. “I am not one to ask a favor so soon in a relationship but I would ask that we, and more to the point I, not be so restricted as previous… harems.” He tripped over the word like it was repulsive or nauseating. “From what I have _observed_ you are not one for tradition and so I assume it would not trouble you unduly. I request, Yasuko, that you do us the honor having a semi-normal life outside of the palace.”

Haruhi stared at him. They kept moving and she simply stared at him for a moment or two. He was not resigned to his fate like Mitsukuni and Takashi. He was not frightened. He was angry, terribly angry. And Haruhi would bet just about anything Kyouya would find a way out of his contract. She was sure this whole favor asking was not in his nature, but he needed an ally. And she was the most useful. In a moment of vulnerability and guilt and – good lord – rejection she said. “Kyouya.” He met her eyes. Black staring into brown. She cupped his cheek in her hands, a gesture she could tell he had not seen nearly enough. “I am so _so_ sorry.” He would see none of her fear because he didn’t need that, he needed to know she wasn’t another enemy to be thwarted. He would see her guilt and earnestness. It wasn’t hard to conjure up. “I will see to it.” She dropped her hand and turned to the crowd. “I’m not one to lay about either.” A silent message but hopefully one he understood: she was no threat to his plans, whatever they might be.

At a soft chuckle Haruhi glanced back at Kyouya. He had a strange expression. She was growing frustrated that she could not read these men’s faces. “Thank you, Yasuko.” He glanced at her again, seeming to size her up. “Normally I am not one for games but under the circumstances I believe both of us could do with a distraction.” Kyouya used some of the charm he had showed a promise of. “Stress is not good for one’s health.”

Haruhi smirked at his joke. “What kind of game?”

“I used to play it with my sister. Look around, spot the dignitaries and name a country and rank. The other player must deduce why that particular country and rank.” His eyes seemed to light up as he stared out over the crowd. “For example, older man, balding, basic black tie suit is a low ranking Daisuken official.” He whirled them so she could catch a glimpse.

“Daisuken because he is wearing the house ring on his left hand, seems silver possibly stainless steel.” She paused for a few chords of the song. “Why low ranking?” She asked searching the man as we twirled again.

“Basic black tie suit. No high ranking official comes to a Satoan Princess’s birthday in a _rentable_ _suit_.”

The absolute disgust in Kyouya’s voice made Haruhi bite her cheek to keep a smile back. Never had she smiled so easily in one night. Maybe it was the toxic gases of all these perfumes and colognes in one room.

“Obviously. My turn now?” He nodded his lips twitching at the corners. Haruhi searched the crowd almost smirked when she found a target. She counted heads. Unbelievable. It was too perfect. “This is a game?”

He frowned and nodded.

“Are there prizes?”

He frown grew, if that were possible. “I never received prizes.”

That almost one another smile if it weren’t for the honest confusion and sincerity in his tone. “Well there are now. If you can’t tell me why that particular country and rank then you must tell me one thing that could possibly change your mind on staying should you fail in becoming my First Husband.”

Kyouya nodded sagely, not the least bit surprised that she had guessed he would not stay. “Agreed.”

“Good. By the door. Tetsuyan. Conman.” Kyouya led them around the dance floor to get a better look. “Tetsuyan because of dress, all red in celebration of a coming of age day. Conman because…” He continued to scrutinize the man as we circled. The song building to a crescendo as he deliberated. Finally he gave Haruhi the same smirk he had shown at the start of their dance. “Conman because there are only supposed to be four Tetsuyan dignitaries at your ball not including the royal family representative. He makes five.”

Haruhi frowned. “How on earth did you know there are only four dignitaries?” He just gave her a look and tugged her against him.

“Even though I won I will answer your question because you have promised me a favor.” The song came to a close. Again breath tickled her ear, “Nothing short of miracle would make me leave one life of an underling to become another more prestigious underling.” He released her, met her eyes and for the first time Haruhi saw something other than calculating cunning there. She saw laughter, well amusement. But it was a start. “I will inform the guards that we have an imposter in our midst.”

He brushed a kiss to her knuckles and spun on his heel to toward Mitsukuni and Takashi. Who, now that Haruhi focused on them, seemed to have acquired an admiring crowd of women – young and old. Haruhi was left drifting, watching a dark angel stalk her other two suitors.

“Work hard.” She whispered at his retreating back. “I expect quite a bit from you Ootori Kyouya.”

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, South Hall, Third Music Room, Host Club**

Obviously, one day as a host (even if successful) did not make Haruhi exempt from the duties she’d had as the Host Club’s ‘dog.’

The twins had left first after the room was cleared of girls. They both winked and ruffled her hair when they passed Haruhi cleaning one of the coffee tables.

Tamaki and Kyouya left together, Tamaki bouncing ideas for the next theme for the Host Club off the other boy. He screamed a farewell to his “beloved child.” Haruhi rolled her eyes and ignored him but met Kyouya’s probing dark eyes and nodded curtly.

Mori seemed to be waiting for her but when Honey grabbed his arm and began to tug him away he went willingly only glancing behind him as a way of a goodbye. Honey called out in his child’s voice.”Bye bye Haru-chan!” The door closed with a determined thud.

“Bye.” Haruhi slumped onto one of the sofas. That had been exhausting. An hour of talking to girls – no an hour of flirting with girls had granted Haruhi five out of the hundred customers she owed the host club. Truly pretending to be a man wasn’t that difficult. Conversation flowed easily once Haruhi had gotten over her brief panic attack. Now she could go home and study.

_Two hours at the Host Club every day after school will surely impact my grades… Perhaps I should ask Kyouya-senpai to let me have a day to myself, or just the hour of preparation before actual club activities began…_

Haruhi hummed her mother’s favorite lullaby as she cleaned the room on table at a time and put all of the china into the bins in the back room. The Ouran janitorial staff would come in later to clean the fine tableware. Once done she swept her eyes across the room to make sure everything was neat before grabbing her bag to leave.

Except she couldn’t find her bag.

“I swear I set it right here…” She said touching the back of settee closest to the double doors leading out of the Third Music Room. As she searched the room for it, Haruhi happened to glance out the window. At first she couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing. There was something in the front fountain. It looked like books and papers and… her things.

Haruhi burst through the double doors and flung herself through the empty corridors at a sprint. She thought there was no bullying at Ouran. Tears began to stab her eyes as she flew down a flight of stairs. It wasn’t that all her money for that week had been in her bag. It wasn’t that the most expensive books she’d ever owned were inside her bag. What pissed her off most was the bag.

It had been her mother’s bag.

It was a horribly stupid thing to be crying she knew but it was _hers_. Her mother had been taken from her at five years old. Her things had been removed from the palace by the time she was six. Haruhi had had nothing to remind herself that at one point she’d had a mother to sing to her and read to her. Her and her sisters had nothing they could hold onto to remember her mother’s warm embrace. Haruhi had stolen the worn brown leather satchel from her mother’s rooms a week after she’d been taken from them. It had smelled like her. Like paper and ink and sweet perfume. She’d kept it for _ten years_. Ten years of schools and workplaces and coming to and from the palace and home. She’d kept it with her for so _long_. And now it was soaking in the school fountain.

The tears were flowing now.

Haruhi was so busy trying to get to her mother’s bag she almost ran into a girl walking calmly back through the tall front doors of the school.

“I’m so sorry!” She said panicked. Haruhi turned to make sure she hadn’t run the poor thing over when she recognized her. “Princess Ayanokoji?” A dreadful feeling twisted into being in the pit of her stomach. The Princess didn’t even turn to her, as though Haruhi was beneath her notice.

“How nice for you, to have Tamaki-sama tidy you up.” Haruhi just stared at her, caught between breaking down altogether and making a few well placed threats against the Andorran Princess. She had a feeling she knew who had thrown her mother’s bag into the fountain. “While you’re at it, why don’t you correct your poor lineage?” She bit her tongue before lashing out against the sorry excuse for a royal. _Her_ bloodline? It was purer and more essential to the world than Ayanokoji’s insignificant country. But Haruhi wasn’t quite that idiotic. To insult royalty, of any nation, was asking for a long and painful life. Even from such an infinitesimal country.

Princess Ayanokoji glided away without even a peek at Haruhi. If she had, the young aristocrat would have been on her knees to beg for mercy. Haruhi’s ancestors had not won wars and political arguments through smiling, though they were almost as good at that.

Haruhi whirled and tore through the open doors Ayanokoji had just come through. She raced to the edge of the fountain, rolling up her sleeves and nearly tripping as she kicked off her shoes and rolled up her pant legs too. The first thing she grabbed was her mother’s bag. She wrung it out and laid it flat across the hot pavement beside the fountain. As much as she’d love to race home and restore the leather that second she had to retrieve the rest of her things.

_I can fix it. I can fix it. I can fix it. I can..._

She kept up the mantra in her head as she collected all of her things from the pond. Finally she was searching seemingly in vain for her wallet which had eluded her. The tears had dried on her face. And she was at the point of insanity over what that foul girl had done. But she was coming out of it.

“Where is that damn wallet!” She slapped her hand against the water’s surface. She was very slowly coming out of it. Very slowly.

“Oi, commoner!” And this is just what she needed to not come out of it at all. Haruhi straightened and spun to face her next offender.

Tamaki posed at the edge of the fountain. He stared at her face. “You have such audacity to go and ruin the new uniform we got you.” He glanced down at Haruhi’s bag splayed on the cement drying. He frowned, a line adding character to his ethereal features. “Why is your bag wet?”

So close was she to screaming about Ayanokoji that Haruhi opened her mouth. She closed it. She couldn’t blame the princess for this. She was Fujioka Haruhi, the scholarship student. The scholarship student could not point the finger at the Andorran Princess.

“I… dropped it.” She couldn’t lie on the go either. She looked to her feet and kept searching. “I just can’t find my food money. I’m fine. Thank you for stopping by.”

“Hmm…”

A sigh and then a splash. Water lapped up Haruhi’s legs. She looked up in time to see Tamaki stepping farther into the fountain.

“Senpai?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you- you’re going to get yourself all wet!” It was utterly surprising when Tamaki grinned up at her through his blonde bangs. It wasn’t his usual charming smile. This one was more naturally endearing. More boyish.

“Getting wet isn’t going to do any harm, is it?” Haruhi stared at him, uncomprehending the gesture. He looked back down. “And anyway people always say I’m dripping with good looks.” Haruhi stood there staring like a complete idiot. Why would he do this for her, practically a stranger? Had she really misjudged him so badly?

“Here!” She just watched him stand with her missing drenched wallet in his hands. He swaggered toward her, wallet held in a two fingered grip. “Is this what you’ve been looking for?” He held it out with a wink.

Haruhi looked up into two pieces of the sky in an otherworldly face. Could he really be hers? He was so kind and confusing.

* * *

 

**Fourth dance between Crowned Princess and the candidate Tamaki**

Haruhi was not left drifting for long. As she stared at Kyouya’s retreating back she almost forgot about her next partner, until a hand rested at the small of her back.

She turned to meet her next suitor. The fairy tale prince, Kyouya’s near opposite, smiled at her serenely. Souh Tamaki was undoubtedly beautiful with bright blue eyes, sunlight blonde hair and a kind smile that seemed familiar to Haruhi. He looked like a Westerner. But before that thought could continue she had an abrupt epiphany. His smile. It wasn’t real. Yes, it was pretty and heartwarming but it didn’t convey as much as Mitsukuni’s excited happy grin. It wasn’t his, it was a princes. It was a façade.

“Princess Yasuko, it is an honor.” For the fourth time that night Haruhi dismissed her proper title with a wave.

“Please, just Yasuko.” She smiled up at him. Her smile too felt a little stiff; maybe his falsity was rubbing off on her? “May I call you Tamaki?”

He nodded and his lips settled into a rather embarrassed line. He swept her hand into his and put his other on her waist. She laid her free hand on his shoulder, feeling the brush of fine hair. They danced quietly for a few steps. She stared at him while he surveyed the crowd. His face was beautiful and she tried to work past that distraction. He didn’t look scared, definitely sad but not nervous, maybe a little apprehensive as though he were facing something he’d rather not but knew he must. She wondered at that. What kind of man – or boy – would be OK with his situation? _Resign_ himself to it?

How can he be sad but not scared?

“Tamaki, I-”

“Yasuko-“

They both stopped and waited for the other to continue, the silence stretched on. Haruhi began to giggle. It was better than the one Mitsukuni had gotten out of her. And at a simple moment of silliness no less. It was one of the rare true instances of laughter she’d had in what felt like lifetimes, but she really knew it was just years. About ten years.

“You go first.” She laughed, grinning and leaning her head back to look up at him. She had been right, six feet. His chin could rest comfortably on her head.

His smile finally touched his eyes, if only a little. “Thank you. I just wanted to say that,” He took a deep breath that seemed to catch on the way out. “You don’t have to be scared.” He slid a peek her way and then back out to the dancing mass of lords and ladies. Haruhi wasn’t sure what he saw on her face but she knew she was surprised and confused. Scared? _Well, yes we’ve established that but nothing like what you must be going through._ “I know this must seem like too much too soon. You must be embarrassed and scared. And there must be thousands of doubts crossing your mind about us and yourself… compatibility and timing and the like. I want you to know-” Tamaki stopped when he noticed her expression. “What?”

Haruhi was positive he had seen the confusion turn to horror in her eyes. “What on earth are you talking about?”

He back pedaled. “I only meant that we won’t force you into anything. If you’re waiting or want to wait we-”

“Please stop!” Haruhi jerked Tamaki a little closer to cover her panicked expression. She didn’t want to talk about that here. Was he an idiot? Tamaki looked even more panicked than her.

_Well he’s scared now._

“I was just-”

“If you say another word about understanding I will have to smother you in chiffon.” She whispered through clenched teeth. She took a deep breath and let it out. Tamaki watched her with confusion evident on his angelic features. “Look,” She tilted her head to look at him. “I am nervous, but I’m not embarrassed or scared about… that. I know my duty to my people and to the crown.” At this Tamaki adopted an expression of pity, sadness and anger, but she continued without him. “None of this is new to me. I have been told all my life what would come on my fifteenth birthday. I have been told all my life what will come on my eighteenth. If anything I should be comforting you.” She scanned him over. “Really you should be scared.”

Tamaki’s brow curved into an expression of innocent curiosity. “About what?”

Haruhi just stared at him. “Tamaki, you’re being given to a foreign princess as a sex slave.” When he said nothing she began again. “You’re leaving your country behind, your friends, your family!” At that his eyes met hers and she saw pain, sadness, and a slice of fear. He was hiding something about his family. What was it? Her voice was softer when she spoke again. “I’m sorry. That was cruel.” She turned away.

Tamaki didn’t say anything for a few beats. “You remind me of my sister.” Haruhi looked up at him, he was staring off into the crowd but didn’t see them. “She would have smacked me in the middle of dancing had I broached this subject with her. She’s headstrong too. A little too intelligent for her own good as well.” He laughed. “You have that same look in your eye.” He brought his hand from her back to put a finger under her eye. “Cunning.” She watched him remember his sister and felt that pang of guilt again, stronger this time. And a little bit of jealousy.

“I bet she loves you.” Haruhi wondered at the thought of a sister who loved you just as much as you did her.

Tamaki laughed the laugh that best suit his image, full and unbound by trivialities. The laugh lifted something from his shoulders and he whirled her around with ease and grace only found in someone having fun. “We can’t stand each other!” But she saw the truth. They had loved each other. Probably one of those make-believe relationships every fictional brother and sister had. Perfect.

Before she could say anything else, make him laugh one more time, the song ended and Tamaki was kissing her knuckles before traipsing off to join the others.

She stared after like she’d done to all of her harem. At the end there he had not seemed so refined, so reserved and nervous. He’d had an arrogant self-assured air to him when he’d laughed and twirled her.

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, Front Courtyard, Pond**

“Hello? You’re off in space.” Haruhi was thrust back from her memories by Tamaki’s loud words so different from her birthday. He had been so poised and fake it had hurt. Here though, here he was in his element. He was still poised and elegant but there was life to him now. Like Michelangelo’s David come to life.

 _Will he – or any of them really – accept being my ‘playthings’ for the rest of their lives? More accurately for the rest of_ my _life?_

“You haven’t fallen for me have you?” He grinned cheekily and that pompous obnoxious boy was back replacing the solemn young man she remembered. Haruhi glowered and snatched her wallet from him.

“Of course not. I’d have to be insane.”

His next words cut through his self-important facade. “How did your bag get wet again?”

“I told you. I dropped it.” Haruhi told him gathering her things to go home. One look at her mother’s bag caused the tears to return with a vengeance. “Thank you for your help senpai. I have to go home. I have dinner to make.” _He was just so damned confusing._

She nearly ran away from him with her sodden books clutched to her chest, her mother’s bag swinging wetly from her arms and her wallet gripped in one hand.

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy, the Next Day**

The next day went smoothly enough at first. Haruhi went through her classes, ignoring the twins every step of the way. They had moved to sit on either side of her passing notes and generally distracting her. She was sure they knew she was a girl, was certain they didn’t know she was their princess, was positive they were going to torture her. If they kept this up she may not have a scholarship by the end of the semester. Every so often one of them would drop their hand to brush against some part of her, making her focus on them instead of the lessons. Once Kaoru dropped a hand to skim the back of Haruhi’s neck as he passed Hikaru a note. Hikaru returned it under the desks and brushed Haruhi’s thigh in the process.

By lunch Haruhi was a mess. She hadn’t heard a thing any of her teacher’s had said. She’d been too focused on the obviously unconcerned hands gliding over her. Hikaru and Kaoru made her too uncomfortable. The touching didn’t bother her it was _where_ they were touching her; in every sensitive spot she had. It was heart pounding and jaw clenching and blood boiling-

_Are all of those bad things? Are any of those bad things?_

_Oh shut up._ Haruhi told her traitorous mind. It was claustrophobic. _It hadn’t been claustrophobic on your birthday…_ She shushed her mind a second time. Of course it had been claustrophobic and probing and rude what they had done.

 _But you didn’t tell them off._ That was true.

* * *

 

**Fifth dance between Crowned Princess and the candidates Hikaru and Kaoru**

It was surreal; the hands on either side of her neck trailing down her arms to her own hands hanging loosely at her side. They mirrored each other to the last tickle. Her gaze was jerked away from Tamaki, Kyouya, Mitsukuni, and Takashi who were all talking and laughing by the buffet while girls of all ages and backgrounds circled them.

The twins. The twins were next.

And there was the slight panic, the confusion. Two? Twins? Brothers? Six men in her harem? What had happened? This could cause trouble amongst Sato’s allies. Each country wanted their ‘gift’ to be chosen as First Husband, so they could have the favor and influence in the ruling house. It caused twice as much trouble considering it was the Tetsuya nation who had sent two boys. It was the cunning country, known for its trade fashion and superior under-the-table intelligence network.

And here were the two devils causing her trouble.

They had mischievous impish features, all sharp angles and conniving grins that made her squirm. They were also pulling her toward them. All three of them pressed together in the middle of the dance floor. They hadn’t even said anything yet.

“Hello Yasuko.” The one conforming to the shape of her back said, brushing her ears with his breath.

“Hikaru and Kaoru at your service.” The one before her, curving to shape her front, bent down and kissed Haruhi’s left cheek as his twin kissed the right.

Haruhi could tell that they were used to girls fawning over them. The way they held her and moved around her made that clear. They expected her to all over herself giggling or perhaps faint in their arms. But what came to her in that instant was the wash of memory she’d fought off in her chambers.

_Red walls. Red floors. A pool of dark red under her bum and her feet. Slippered feet. Mommy’s feet. Mommy shouldn’t get her slippers dirty. Why is mommy sitting in the red? Her bum will get all messy. Darkness takes over the red. Something rough over my eyes. I reach up to grab it but something grabs me. Hands grabbing, clawing, hurting. I punch and kick. What was wrong? Who grabbed me? Why isn’t mommy saving me? One slipper falls away and my foot is cold. So cold. Coldness is gone; my foot is off the floor. I keep thrashing. Air rushing, rough hands still holding me. They hurt. Too tight. Too strong. They let me go. I don’t fly. I fall. Through the cold air to the floor. It smells down here. I punch but something smooth is above me. To my and right left are more smooth something’s. I scream and flail like mommy says to. But there is flawless surface everywhere. A box. I’m in a box. I kick. Something crunches. A liquid covers my foot. The smell gets stronger. Like after little Hinako gets sick in the bathroom. Small hands beating, small mouth wide, but my small heart has stopped. What is in here with me?_

It was too much and Haruhi could suddenly smell the aroma of sickness and bowels on their clothes and in every word they spoke. She was so close to shoving them away but she couldn’t break face in front of her guests. “Hikaru. Kaoru.” Her voice wavered and she heard it. They would mistake it for swooning. She hoped. Haruhi strengthened her voice enough to say. “Please back up just a bit. I can’t breathe.” The twin that she could see smirked and she was sure the one behind her was doing the same. A smirk of triumph and satisfaction. Haruhi had just proved she was just like the rest of the female population. Helpless to their charms.

She wouldn’t disappoint them. Not yet.

“But it’s so cozy like this.” Despite the words from behind her both of them eased off just a bit and Haruhi breathed a little easier. Damn nerves. She wasn’t claustrophobic. She just couldn’t stand being trapped, unable to move. But who would?

“Do you like to dance Yasuko?” Haruhi realized for the first time she hadn’t had to correct a suitor of her name. She looked up at the boy before her. Memorizing his face. Not the features but the way he used them, the little twitches of character behind the face. Around the eyes, the mouth.

“No.” She said absently. “I don’t.” The twin looked a little surprised. Pleasantly?

“What a shame.” They twirled her and she was now facing the twin that had been behind her. He continued. “We love to dance.” He bent her over his arm in a dip and the other twin kissed her forehead. She came back up blushing and irritated.

“Obviously.” The irritation was in her voice but they paid no mind. She looked at the new one. She could tell he was not the first because his eyes were darker, not in color but in character. He was not the stronger willed but perhaps the most childish, the more want-driven of the two. The baser while the other is more refined. If only by the smallest of measurements.

“I bet we could make her like dancing. If it was with _us._ ” The other one said behind her. Haruhi cut in before the dark one could answer.

“Would you mind telling me who is whom?” She asked curtly, glaring at the one in front of her.

The darker one grinned. “We are one and the same. I could be him and he could be–”

“I don’t particularly care who you _could_ be. I’d like to know who you are. Or we could get straight to the business as to why there are two of you.” With the last three words her voice dipped, taking on the regal authoritative (kind of bitchy) tone she used in court. The one behind her twitched. Had she hit a nerve?

The one in front of her kept smiling seductively. “Very well, I am Hikaru and my older brother Kaoru is the gorgeous man standing at your back. A hand slid up her spine. Haruhi had a feeling it was Kaoru saying hello.

“Hello Hikaru,” She glanced over her shoulder to find Kaoru all to close. “Kaoru.” She breathed.

“Princess.” He answered. “And we are here as a package deal. We come together. You would choose us together.”

Kaoru was a smart boy. He had obviously known the ramifications of them both coming. He had given me an explanation that would – hopefully – fly well with the court as well as the other countries. Haruhi didn’t remember if there had ever been any ‘package deals’ before in a Queen’s harem. She doubted it. It was too disastrous a notion. But it might work. Choose them both or none. It limited their success quite a bit considering she would have to also be fine with the three of them in… in her… bed.

If Kaoru was the oldest than chances were he had been the one to be offered up first. Hikaru had probably gone with him, how he had managed to persuade not only their family but her kingdom’s ambassadors as well was a complete mystery. But Haruhi would expect nothing less from the Tetsuyans. However if it were to go wrong, Kaoru would be the one to take the blame, as the oldest. Her government would blame him if the other nations became angered because of the perceived unfair advantage. As the one responsible for securing the Satoan Crowned Princess’ attention he would be blamed by his own country should they fail to become her First Husband(s).

“You must mean a lot to him.” Haruhi told Hikaru.

“The world.” Kaoru said. Stealing Hikaru’s surprised gaze. Hikaru’s eyes softened and at that moment Haruhi couldn’t tell the difference between the two.

Hikaru spoke while staring at his brother. “Sorry,” He said, not sound sorry at all. “We’ve always been together. And I wouldn’t let him go.” He shrugged and looked back her a mischievous grin on his handsome face. They spun her again. The music winding down.

Hikaru reached past me to rest his hand on Kaoru’s cheek thumb stroking his bottom lip tauntingly. “Besides he would have cried if he’d had to leave without me.”

Kaoru actually blushed and opened his mouth in shock. Hikaru slid his thumb in, resting it on his bottom lip and lower teeth. Haruhi could see Kaoru bite at it tentatively. She swore she saw Kaoru eyes flutter just a bit.

Interesting relationship dynamic. She stored that data away for later. And even more interesting she wasn’t feeling the least bit squeamish. How strange. What was she feeling? There was a bit of tightness in her belly but it wasn’t… unpleasant.

“Such a crybaby. And who could say no to that face?” Hikaru rest his chin on Haruhi’s shoulder looking up at his brother. “Right Yasuko?”The song ended with Haruhi’s gaze on Kaoru’s, his mouth slightly open and eyes glittering seductively. These two were dangerous. Cunning in a different way than Kyouya. They were not afraid to use anything – _anything_ – at their disposal. That was… Haruhi had no idea. It was cunning, smart, scary, dangerous.

Hikaru and Kaoru released her the same way they had trapped her. Their hands came trailing down her arms and like mirror images they kissed the knuckles. Twin eyes winked and the twins sauntered away.

They were absolutely frightening.

* * *

 

**Ouran Elite Private Academy**

They _were_ frightening. Especially when there was no stopping them. She had no authority here as a ‘commoner’.

Even when they sat down for lunch one of the twins was touching her at all times. Was that how it would be in the palace? Would all of them be like that? After they were finished eating they went ahead of her to the classroom. She stopped by one of the deserted boy bathrooms to wash her hands; she had to keep up appearances. Then she was storming down the hall, the twins clear in her sights. The bell for the end of lunch was about to ring and Haruhi desperately needed to lay down some ground rules. Really just one ground rule.

“You two need to understand something.” She said calmly. An important rule of negotiations: don’t show your opposition they were getting to you. “The touching stops now. I am a scholarship student therefore I cannot get distracted from my studies. During class you must keep your distance.” She stared up at them, half demanding half imploring. She had a feeling demanding anything of them was going to be impossible.

They grinned. The skin at the nape of Haruhi’s neck tried to flee down her spine. How scary. “We were distracting?” Kaoru asked, eyes gleaming.

His twin put an elbow on Kaoru’s shoulder leaning into him. “I had no idea we’d had any effect.” They didn’t even seem to be talking to her at all. They were speaking as though she weren’t even there!

“How could I miss the constant poking and prodding?” She asked exasperated. And another irritating realization; she’d given away her irritation just by talking to them. Damn. It was clever trap.

“Experiment successful.” Kaoru smiled in a chilling mix of pleased and mischievous.

“Strange turnout.” Hikaru laid his chin on the arm on his brother’s shoulder, smirking in exactly the same way. It made for a triumphant image, both twins looking down at her wearing their cat-that-ate-the-canary smiles.

“What experiment? Turnout?” But they turned away from her and walked back to class leaving her in the corridor. The bell rang and Haruhi glumly scurried after them with no choice left to her. Rich bastards.

The rest of the day went on normally – well, more so than that morning. The twins stopped touching her but continued to pass notes. Perhaps that was a regular thing for them. Even so they walked her to the Music Room after classes and entered with her.

“Hey boss!”

“We brought Haruhi.”

Tamaki looked away from Kyouya who was studiously ignoring him in favor of his ledger. “My sweet apprentice!” He practically bounced across the room towards her, but Haruhi sidestepped him. Tamaki tumbled past the twins in a heap.

“Kyouya-senpai?” She asked, noticing that there was a new color of rose on a few of the tables. “Why are there red roses?”

“We color coordinate the flowers depending on the host.” That she had already figured. Then she realized, “The red roses are yours.”

“Why red?” Haruhi asked touching one of the petals on the nearest table.

Tamaki swooshed over to take her hand and spin her against him. “Because you are the original gentleman! You are the raw natural among us more refined professionals. Who tempers his untrained technique with old fashioned charm.” Haruhi stepped away to create distance. Even after the desensitizing touching provided by the Hitachiin twins she was not fine with the petting.

“I see.”

“Be sure to give customers one as they leave.” Kyouya said. Tamaki was about to come over to her yet again but was intercepted by Honey and a trailing Mori.

“Haru-chan!” Haruhi would never admit it but she was beginning to like it when Honey called her that. “You have another customer request!” Relief filled her. _Another one down._

“Really? Who?”

“It’s a one on one request.” Kyouya said over his notes. “More expensive, it’s very good for your debt to the club.” Double hurray.

“Well, who is it?”

Haruhi had graciously led her new customer to a table for two with her signature roses in the middle. The roses spilled out of a low vase that resembled a flower box more than a pitcher. She raised her eyes from the beautiful floral arrangement to meet the cold dark eyes of Princess Ayanokoji Seiki. They had traded pleasantries and Haruhi had carried the conversation as far as she possibly could. Now the Princess was staring at her intently.

“I heard your bag fell into the pond?” She asked sipping her tea.

“Yes.” The anger was there, but not in her voice. That was good. “I dropped it.”

“I see. That must have been terrible.” _You would know._ Haruhi was sure that Ayanokoji had somehow seen her looking frantically through the pond, possibly from an upstairs window. “All your things must be ruined.” She didn’t even fake sympathy. Ayanokoji simply stated it as fact. Haruhi’s anger was lessening. She could never keep it very long anyway, her mother’s bag was fine, and her books were ok, why bother with anger?

“Actually Princess, my things are just fine but thank you for your sympathy.” Haruhi smiled as politely as she would for any other customer. Questions kept running through her mind. _Why request me? Why throw my bag in the pond?_ And the winner. _Why does she hate me?_

“But to make Tamaki-sama go to all the trouble of picking up your grimy things for you,” She sighed and serenely stared down at her tea. “You really don’t understand your place in life do you?” The Princess jerked her eyes up to Haruhi’s. She saw something there. What was that? “He’s only paying any attention to you because he’s never met a commoner before. Don’t go getting any ideas, peasant.” She spat the words out before she laced her fingers and rested her chin on them, smiling in that same blankly serene way. It was incredibly off putting.

And all of a sudden, the truth blind-sided Haruhi into speech. The idea was so other worldly that her usual careful filter cultivated by years of practice for the throne failed her. “I understand.” The Princess smiled. “You’re jealous.”

Nearly palpable fury poured from Ayanokoji as she tried with all her might to kill Haruhi with a look. Haruhi simply sat there with a politely blank face and wondered at this girl. There were so many holes in her logic it was a wonder it had ever got off the ground. First off Haruhi was a supposed commoner and while relationships between royals and commoners were not illegal they were frowned upon and quite rare. Secondly, even if she wasn’t a commoner, she was pretending to be a guy! Yet another relationship that was rare though respected. And even if she happened to be another wealthy student from a suitably rich and influential family, Tamaki was already promised to the throne of Sato. Princess Ayanokoji was delusional.

She was also reaching out across the table. Haruhi did not react in the slightest having taken no courses in self defense and never having needed to. Ayanokoji gripped her jacket lapel and tugged with astonishing strength angling just right so that the table fell to their left and Haruhi was kneeling above the Princess, arms on both sides of her head. The red flowers from the table had been destroyed and their petals drifted around them in sullen pools of their own water.

Ayanokoji screamed high pitched and awful into the sudden silence. “Haruhi-kun!” She turned on her side giving her profile to the onlookers. “Haruhi-kun attacked me! Help! Seize this commoner!”

In yet another sudden moment both of them were dripping wet. There goes her uniform. Haruhi looked up to see the twins leering at them both holding empty cups. “Was that really necessary?” But Ayanokoji spoke over her.

“What are you doing?” She asked haughtily and yet somehow tearfully. Tamaki helped her up off the floor while the twins squatted next to Haruhi and began fussing over her clothes and hair. Haruhi’s eyes were all for Tamaki. He had the most peculiar expression, one she had not seen on him so far. Honey, Mori and Kyouya all stood at attention by the other guests. Tamaki brushed a strand of wet hair from Princess Ayanokoji’s face. She sighed and leaned into his hand. “Tamaki-sama, Haruhi-kun assaulted me.”

Tamaki’s eyes were closed and his expression was one of… disappointment? What was that? Disgust? “How disgraceful.” Haruhi’s stomach fell through the floor as the twins stood up and she stared at them all from her awkward position in the puddle of rose petals and water. They thought she had done it. They believed the princess.

Haruhi stared at Tamaki incredulously. But this did not add up! This was not Tamaki’s way of dealing with things. Something was wrong. _Or maybe you’ve made such a huge mistake – seemed to at least._

“It was you who threw Haruhi’s bag in the fountain wasn’t it?” Tamaki asked blinking angelically into Ayanokoji’s face.

“Wh-what?” She blanched, jerking back and away from Tamaki’s touch.

“You threw Haruhi’s bag into the fountain.” That was definitely disgust on his perfect features. How strange.

“Wh-How – How can you say that Tamaki-sama!?” She was insulted and then haughty. “Do you have any proof?” Tamaki spoke over her.

“You are a lovely young lady, Princess. But you are not fit to be our guest here.” He lowered his head to meet her gaze on the same level. “If there is one thing I know about Haruhi it is that he is _not_ that kind of man.”

Tears began to well in those hateful dark eyes. “Tamaki-sama! I hate you!” She ran from the music room, plowing through the girls by the door.

Haruhi was still staring in shock after the vanishing girl when Tamaki’s shadow loomed over her. He sighed in his normal melodramatic way. “What are we going to do with you commoner?” He put a hand to his forehead in a disappointed superior pose. “We still must decide your punishment for causing this mess.”

What!? “Ca-causing it!?” Haruhi spluttered from the floor, she could hear silent laughter from the twins.

A snap of fingers and they were being obnoxiously pointed into her face. “I have it! You’re quota is now raised to one thousand customers!” Tamaki smiled happily like a small child discovering the solution to difficult puzzle. Very proud and very arrogant.

“One – one thousand…” _I must not faint I must not faint I must not…_

The hand was once again in her face but now it was held out dramatically, like a partner waiting for a dance. “Haruhi.” Tamaki held his hand waiting for her to take it. More like a friend.

But that number kept pounding in her head. _One thousand. One thousand. One…_

She moaned and took his hand, heaving up from the floor sopping wet. “Senpai–“

Tamaki interrupted her, “I have high expectations from you.” He winked. “My natural rookie.”

Haruhi’s irritation swelled. He was back to that clueless happy boy, she distrusted. Perfect.

Kyouya handed her a paper bag. If Haruhi hadn’t known any better she’d have said he was holding back a smirk. “Here’s a change of clothes. It’s the only ones we have but it’s better than a wet one.” Haruhi peeked inside and understood. Oh ha-ha very funny, give the cross dresser some girl clothes instead. How very witty of them. But she took the back and thanked him before retreating to the changing area in the back room.

Haruhi found that there was only one towel in the back room. So she took it into the changing stall and began to strip out of the wet clothes. The jacket and shirt could be cleaned, but her camisole may permanently smell like rosewater and a little musty. “Dang it. I liked this one.” She pulled the towel up to dry off her hair. She marveled at how easy it was with short hair. “Maybe I’ll keep it like this…”

Haruhi’s gaze met her own and she stared for a moment. She had been smiling. A simple smile that had come without thought or notice. A natural smile. It seemed like it had been forever. She remembered Mitsukuni making her smile just by trusting her with his feelings, Takashi gaining her own trust while protecting her from Kyouya, Kyouya keeping her attention without trying, Takashi making her laugh without effort, the twins mellowing that fear of tight spaces with just a few touches. They were already changing her.

She should thank them.

“Haruhi? I forgot. Here are some towels–” Tamaki’s voice stopped mid sentence. Haruhi turned with a hand sill in her hair, drying it off.

Tamaki stood with the curtain pushed aside and expression of frozen confusion, realization and horror. He let the curtain close. Haruhi reached for the paper bag Kyouya had provided. The sunflower yellow dress uniform came with shoes and stockings. She pulled them on and hitched the dress over her head. She tied the bow at her neck and pulled at it reflexively. Had it been only a few months since she had last worn a girl’s uniform? They were so uncomfortable. She ignored the hyperventilation going on outside the stall. It eventually calmed down.

“Haruhi?”

“Yes Tamaki-senpai?”

“You’re a girl?”

“Biologically? Yes.”

The hyperventilation continued as Haruhi folded up her damp clothes and placed them neatly in the paper bag. She emerged from the curtain to find the entire Host Club standing behind Tamaki who looked as though he had been hit by a bus. The look did not suit his prince persona at all and Haruhi, despite herself, found it quite cute.

Haruhi rolled her eyes and kept adjusting her bow, trying to get it into a position that was less strangling. “Senpai, it’s ok to think of me as a boy. To me…” Haruhi thought of her father and his own cross dressing. _Mother, how did I end up like this?_ She gave up with the bow and folded her arms over her stomach defensively. “For me it matters more what or who you are as a person than whether that person is a boy or a girl.”

Kyouya straightened his impeccable glasses. “What a fascinating development.” He murmured without the faintest hint of his poking fun at their ‘King’.

“Indeed.” The twins chuckled to themselves just as sarcastically. Honey giggled and clung to Mori who was as impassive as ever.

Haruhi shot the Hitachiin’s a look before turning back to Tamaki remembering. “Anyway, senpai.” Haruhi giggled a little at Tamaki’s still shocked expression. “That was really cool what you did earlier. All of you.” She looked at each of them. “It was very kind. Thank you.” She bowed like she would have for a dignitary and cursed herself almost instantly. But they didn’t notice. She looked up to see not only had Tamaki been hit by a bus but someone had driven all of the blood to his cheeks and ruined his composure.

Haruhi cocked her head to one side confused. “Senpai?” And then she remembered the nagging question that had been at her all day. “What experiment?” She asked the twins, hands on hips.

Hikaru and Kaoru looked at her with looks of innocence. “What experiment?” They repeated her.

“Don’t play coy with me. You know what I’m talking about.” Kyouya coughed surreptitiously.

“That would be my fault I assume.” He met her gaze evenly and then took out his ledger. “Tamaki informed me of his suspicious involving your bag and the Princess. I suspected she might try something when her plan to – shall we say – warn you off, did not work.” He peeked over his spectacles. “I enlisted the twins help to gather information on you.”

“It was our job to follow Princess Ayanokoji!” Honey bounced from his place next to Mori and took her hands to spin them both around. “It was loads of fun. I got to hide up in the rafters! Mori had to follow her on foot.” Mori nodded and smiled softly. Haruhi smiled back imagining the big man having to keep an eye on Honey as well as the Princess.

“That still doesn’t explain all of the flirting.” She said sourly glaring at the twins. This time they grinned at her, somehow the image would have looked more appropriate had sharp teeth been present behind their Cheshire grins.

“Mission from Kyouya. He decided that princess might try to stage something. So we had to find out all about you pronto.” They winked in unison.

Haruhi glared at them accusingly. “All you did was flirt.”

“Yes well I admit I was remiss in putting them up to the task.” Kyouya pushed his glasses farther up his nose.

The twins shrugged, unapologetic. _Shocking._ “Well we knew you were a girl. We didn’t know what kind of girl.”

“The cross dressing one.” She deadpanned.

“We wanted to see what would make you blush. And what wouldn’t. You’re difficult to play with Haruhi.” Hikaru leaned on his brother and grinned like a shark.

“Sorry to disappoint.” She said, not sorry at all. Experimenting on how best to embarrass her? Irritation and amusement collided. She stared at them all. These boys were going to drive her insane.

And even though she knew that she was starting to feel better about her candidates. Yes they could be annoying, and obnoxious but all of them were good underneath it all. She uncrossed her arms, “Maybe getting fawned over by a bunch of girls won’t be so bad.” She grinned at Tamaki who was still red and silent. “I could get used to this guy thing.”

Hikaru waggled his brows. “Yeah, but right now you look like a girl.” He and Kaoru came to bow in front of her.

“May we escort you home, Miss Fujioka?” Kaoru asked.

Haruhi rolled her eyes, still smiling. “You can walk me to the door. I don’t want you following me home.”

“Oh, you wound us!” They tucked both of her hands into the crook of their elbows, Hikaru on her left and Kaoru on her right. Hikaru grabbed her bag. They led her out of the Music Room and down to the front doors, the rest of the Club trailing behind them talking and laughing.

Haruhi had to admit this was nice. And possibly not as bad as she had thought. Yes, she now had no escape from her harem, but wasn’t this better than getting to know them in court, with chaperones watching their every step? They would be less open to her there. She had more of a chance of getting to know them at school than she did during the proper meetings between them as Princess and candidates.

She had to admit she liked them a great deal more now than when she had first seen them.

Haruhi waved each of them to their cars, Kyouya was easiest to discard. He just waved them all a goodnight and got in to an elegant town car, but didn’t drive off. Haruhi figured Tamaki drove with him. The Hitachiin brothers did drive away, blowing kisses out the window. Honey and Mori were standing off to the side speaking quietly. They were probably waiting for their ride. Tamaki was no longer red in the face but still silent. He was the last to figure out she was a girl (of course), and the news must still be relatively shocking. _What if he’s angry I didn’t tell him?_ The thought worried her. A lot considering she’d only known about him for a month and known him personally only a few days.

“Tamaki-senpai?” He looked at her. He didn’t look angry. “Are you upset with me?” His face softened almost immediately.

“Of course not my darling. I’m just… well I’m shocked. Why would you choose to be a boy? Why wouldn’t you look like this all the time?” He gestured at her girls’ uniform. She smirked.

“Senpai, you’re the one who mistook me for a boy in the first place.” His face turned red again and Kyouya took that moment to step out of the car and lead Tamaki away.

“I have things to do Tamaki.” Kyouya grumbled, sending a nod her way. She returned it with her smirk still in place.

Their car drove away and before Haruhi could start making her way to the station Honey called to her. “Haru-chan! Wait! Get in Mori, I’ll be right back.”

“Yes, Honey-senpai?” She turned to greet him, and was immediately taken aback at his expression. “Senpai?”

“I don’t know why you chose to come here, Your Highness, but it is an incredibly cruel thing to do.” Her heart and limbs locked. He knew. Of course he knew. He was the most observant of them all. She’d known from the very second she saw Hikaru and Kaoru’s name on her class roster that she would not be able to hide forever, but so soon? She couldn’t have had even a week to be herself? _Cruel? Why cruel?_

“What?” She stared at him, they were the same height now that she wasn’t wearing dangerous heels, but he seemed to tower over her with his anger.

_Was it anger? It looks closer to Tamaki’s disappointment._

“The candidates only have three years to live free of their responsibilities. Why would you come here to ruin that when you’ll get us in the end anyway?” This wasn’t the same Honey she’d known at any point. He wasn’t a Prince, or a high school junior. It was the first time she could see the warrior in him.

“R–ruin…?” She hadn’t come here to ruin anything! Anger was slowly thawing her veins. How dare he accuse her of anything. “I did not come here to ruin anything.” Haruhi slipped into her Crowned Princess persona much easily than she liked, her back straightening and her chin lifting so that even at their equal height she was looking down at him. “I did not anticipate any of you attending this Academy until I had already received my scholarship. Please do not insult me by accusing me of such pettiness.” She stood tall and regal, glaring at Honey. Honey, who she had thought of not even minutes before as something approaching a friend. “Before I stepped into that room I had no intention of making contact with any of you outside of the palace. Do you think I want to spend the four years I have here doting on your every whim? Contrary to what you seem to believe my actions _do not_ revolve around you.” _At least I didn’t used to, though now that you’ve all forced me into your club…_

He didn’t back down, Haruhi would hate to admit that she liked that. “Why are you here then? You have servants and tutors at home to give you a more than adequate education, why come _here_?” He still wasn’t glaring at her, and Haruhi forced herself to think about this from his side and not defensively. He was promised to a foreign princess, one he didn’t know very well, and he has discovered that she was pretending to be a boy in the very place he and his friends spent most of their time and energy – their territory, to put it in political terms. He’s feeling betrayed and hurt because she might have been his friend as well.

She shouldn’t be angry. He was right to question her.

She sat down on the edge of the fountain so she had to look up at him. If she wanted him as an ally – a friend, then she needed to be honest with him. Lies had gotten her here. “I’m sorry, Mitsukuni. That was rude of me. I didn’t know any of you would be here until I saw Hikaru and Kaoru in my class.” She looked up at him and his gaze had softened. “I truly didn’t. I came here to get the best education possible.” Here she hesitated. It was tradition that only the Crowned Princess and her parents know that the princess lived as a commoner until the end of school. It would, however, be idiotic to not tell Mitsukuni of the tradition when he already knew she was living as a commoner. She took a deep breath, looked down at her feet. “It is tradition in the Island of Sato for the Crowned Princess, the next in line, to live as a middle class citizen from age six until they turn eighteen. They may or may not continue their education through university.” Here she raised her eyes to meet his and saw them resembling Mitsukuni the prince instead of the warrior. “I’m not sorry I lied to you. I understand if you don’t trust me now, but please know that nothing I have done was meant in any way to affect you.” Mitsukuni hesitated then sat next to her. Haruhi didn’t turn to him.

“I don’t trust you, Yasuko.” Haruhi felt her jaw clench. Of course he didn’t. He shouldn’t. She was the one holding the key to his lifelong cage. “But, I don’t know you very well so maybe I can.” Her hand jerked when Honey touched it. “I do know Haruhi.” She laughed and met his eyes. He looked a lot more like Honey now than Mitsukuni. “I trust her.”

She giggled. _I don’t think I’ve laughed as much in ten years than I have with them._ “Thank you, Honey-senpai.” She faltered before continuing. “And I’m sorry. I have to ask something of you.”

He waved her off. “What do you need?”

Haruhi gripped his hand. “Please don’t tell the others who I am.” Honey gave her a look she knew all too well. Her own face was used to wearing skepticism. “Yes, I know they’ll find out eventually, but I’d rather them trust both Haruhi and Yasuko before they know we’re one and the same.” She leaned in, still clutching Honey’s hand. “Please?”

Honey sighed and pulled his hand from hers, not unkindly. He instead patted her head. “I won’t tell them, but be careful how they find out. If you don’t tell them now, it’s only going to seem more and more likely you planned it this way.”

Haruhi mimicked his sigh and slouched. “I know. I’m in one hell of a mess.” Honey giggled and hugged her, ignoring her automatic stiffness.

“Don’t worry, Haru-chan.” He beamed at her. “I’ll help.” Haruhi rolled her eyes for the nth time that day, but relaxed minutely.

Suddenly, Haruhi was being tugged forward. “Come on, Haru-chan! We can drive you home so you don’t get your dress all dirty!” She was dumped unceremoniously into the town car waiting at the curb. Mori was already sitting on the far side. He gently pulled her up and settled her next to him. Honey jumped in behind her. They weren’t squeezed together – the car was definitely roomy – but both boys were brushing up against her, causing the familiar panic to bubble.

Mori’s hand touched briefly on her own which were twisted with discomfort in her lap. Haruhi met his eyes for a split second and forced herself to relax. Mori took his hand back and focused on Honey who –either ignoring or oblivious to Haruhi’s momentary stress – started chatting happily about Usa-chan and cakes. He was obviously over their short-lived argument. Haruhi smiled and followed along, marveling at how easily she could drop her guard.

_Mother, never mind what I said before. I’m fine where I am._

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the end is super mushy but whatever. Hope you enjoyed it. Not gonna say who she ends up with, but I will say they’re in the club. I don’t see her falling for someone else.  
> I have everything planned out, so don’t worry I won’t leave you hanging. It may take a while between chapters but seriously if you comment it’ll be a kick in the ass to keep writing. So if you want to hurry me up kudos and comments are the way.  
> Thanks for reading. Hope you comment. Hope you leave kudos. I wish you many well-written fics and happy OTPs.
> 
> EDIT: Guys I have bad news. I got my computer stolen and my hard drive too so the 50,000 + words that I had on the second chapter? Gone. Do not panic (too much) I'm still writing and slowly but surely making my way back from the abyss bur I was pretty depressed for a while you know? All my stories (not just this one) and all my pictures of my family and friends and whatnot. So please be patient but I WILL get you the rest of this story


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